Boys Night Out

One of the new trends in real estate is something I call the "man space". This is a room that is detached from the main house, where men can gather and be men. In the last year, I have probably seen ten properties that had deluxe man spaces. These are sometimes a room over a garage or a converted carriage house. Out in the country, men build metal pole barns to work on cars or keep their horses. But one room in the barn is the man space. When Adam graduates from high school, we want to move a bit farther from the city and get a home with about five acres. I want a couple of nice quarter horses, a stocked pond, and a man space.

A good man space has several things. First, it is not attached to the house so cigar smoking is not just permitted, it is almost required. It should be heated, preferably with a wood stove. It needs a good card table, a half bath, a wet bar, microwave, and a refrigerator. Of course, it must have cable or satellite tv with couches that are old enough that spilling food on them does not upset anyone. If your man space is in a pole barn or garage, you will need a 1960's or 1970's era muscle car that is in the process of being restored. A Harley also works. You need a work bench with a vice, a drill press, and a Kennedy tool box. All of your tacky sports memorabilia should be prominently displayed along with concert posters of your favorite bands.

My friend has a pretty good man space. Saturday night, I am going over for Poker and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. There will be beer drinking, cigar smoking, cussing, exaggerating, outright lying, and lots of spicy, high cholesterol foods like chicken wings. I am a terrible poker player so that makes me a very popular invitee to poker parties. But where else could I have this much fun for $35?

I get all of my "man-ness" out in one night. Then, I am a good, civilized, hard-working man for three or four weeks. I love mixed martial arts fighting. Rich Franklin, from Cincinnati, is my favorite fighter. Boxing was my thing until Don King ruined it. Aaron Pryor's son is going to be very good in mixed martial arts. He trains in Cincinnati and seems to have his daddy's lightning fast jab.

So if you are tired of trying to get your wife to let you have your neanderthal friends over for a game, get a man-space. As a real estate appraiser, I think it will definitely add value to your property.

Greg's Note: I was corrected by a reader, Frankie Pryor, Aaron's wife. Aaron's sons box but are not involved in mixed martial arts. I got my misinformation from a MMA fighter whose house I appraised. I may have to go back over there and kick his butt. Maybe not.

Kay and Kathy with a K

It is 1:00 in the morning and I cannot sleep. Two friends had dramatic life experiences today and I cannot seem to make sense of them. In just four hours, I experienced a roller coaster ride of emotion and it is not easy to stop the ride just because it is time to sleep.

A couple of weeks ago, Kay was diagnosed with cancer. Kay is the sister of a very close friend. I knew her because we worked together for about three years. The cancer was in the lymph nodes and was in the late stages. The doctor gave her no hope and indicated that intensive chemotherapy might only give her a little time. Kay decided against chemotherapy but agreed to some surgery that could remove a mass and ease some of the pain. The doctors had put her on morphine and oxycontin to ease her pain. They had begun coordinating with hospice so the transition would be smooth when the time came.

Kay’s sister Renee called this afternoon to tell me that when the surgeon operated today, they found no cancer in her body. None. They did not remove the cancer. There was no cancer. They performed new blood work that showed no presence of cancer anywhere. Later today, every test they could run confirmed that Kay has no trace of cancer anywhere in her body. This is the kind of news that makes you want to jump up and down screaming, “Thank you, Jesus!”

In the middle of our unbelievable rejoicing, a neighbor and close friend, Kathy, came over tonight to talk to Debbie. (Kathy is adamant that you spell her name correctly.) She has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Kathy is my age and had been perfectly healthy up until now. It was like someone hit us in the stomach. Debbie’s mother had MS and her sister-in-law is living with it now. So Deb helped explain that it is possible to have many meaningful years with the disease.

A few weeks ago, my favorite Bible teacher, Mike Williams, talked about how God does not judge us based upon our works and we should not judge him based upon his works. To me, this is more than a profound statement. Under the old Christianity, our reaction would be to be happy with God for Kay's healing, but to question God when disease or misfortune come our way. None of it ever seemed to make sense. But now, I have trusted Jesus completely for my salvation. I must trust him in other areas of life as well. I cannot explain what happened to Kay or Kathy. But I know God is good. I know God loves them equally.

So rejoice with Kay today. And remember Kathy in your prayers. Now maybe since I have gotten this off my mind, I can go to sleep.

Mad Props to Bishop Carlton Pearson

I have never met Carlton Pearson. But for the last several years, I have followed his story very closely. I have a deep admiration for Bishop Pearson because he willingly gave up a promising political career, his megachurch, his influence in the Evangelical community, and I am sure, most of his money in an effort to bring Christianity into the Twenty-First Century. This is MY version of HIS story. There are probably some glaring mistakes because almost all of my information comes from the Internet and magazines like Christianity Today and Charisma.

Carlton Pearson was a superstar in the Pentecostal and Word of Faith movements. His Higher Dimensions Church had thousands of members. He was a Dove-Award winning recording artists and his worship music recordings were the model for many churches. His preaching/teaching was saturated with deep insights and thoughtful preparation. His church was integrated in a city where integration was not the norm. Carlton had very powerful influence, not just in his denomination, but throughout the Pentecostal movement worldwide.

Several years ago, Bishop Pearson had an epiphany while watching a television show about the immense suffering in Africa. He began to question God about why these people would be born into Hell on Earth and then be sent to an eternal Hell after their death. Carlton felt God speaking to him and his revelation of God’s nature and character began to change radically. And so did his theology.

In private, Bishop Pearson began researching the scriptures and came to the conclusion that Jesus’ accomplishment through his death, burial, resurrection, and ascension, far exceeded what Evangelical Christianity taught. Carlton began teaching what he called the “Gospel of Inclusion”, teaching that all men are saved, or will eventually be saved, through Jesus sacrifice.

It was at about this time, that Carlton Pearson was considering a run for mayor of Tulsa. Polls showed that he was a very popular choice across a wide demographic. Blacks, whites, evangelicals, liberals and conservatives all seemed to be very excited about making Pearson the mayor.

Here is where the story gets a bit murky. This paragraph is my opinion of what probably happened, based on accounts I have read and a few rumors I have heard. Before Carlton began going public with his message, he began sharing it with some of his friends in the ministry. It should be noted that Carlton’s friends in the ministry were not a few guys named Joe. Carlton Pearson ran with the big dogs. His Azusa meetings featured a “who’s who” of Pentecostal and Word of Faith ministers. He was a frequent guest speaker at some of the largest churches in America and the world. He was on the Board of Directors for Oral Roberts University. Carlton says that many of his ministry friends privately accepted, or at least did not initially reject, his new teaching. He felt that at least some of these powerful men would fall in behind him after he went public with the Gospel of Inclusion. He was wrong.

As Charisma Magazine and Christianity Today, began using the “H” word to describe Bishop Pearson (Heretic) his friends acted as if they had never heard his views and feigned shock at finding that Carlton had gotten off track theologically. Higher Dimensions Church attendance began to fall. Staff began to question the doctrine. Collections plunged. And the Christian world, smelling blood in the water, moved in for the kill. Pearson lost his empire. The church’s real estate was foreclosed upon. Still, he kept preaching the finished work of Jesus.

This is why I admire Bishop Pearson. Most of us who have embraced the new Gospel did not sacrifice our livelihood in the process. I lost a few friends and my relationship with my parents has suffered. But I was free to study and write about the Gospel in obscurity. In 2006, for about a month, I passionately defended Carlton at an Assemblies of God website called the blogrodent. (The posts are still up as of this date and can be found here: http://tatumweb.com/blog/about/wp-stats/?stats_author=Greg+Amburgy) But all of Christianity was not hanging on my every word and challenging my every thought. They were doing this to Bishop Pearson.

All of the Christian magazines denounced his doctrine as heretical. His denomination, the Church of God in Christ, took his credentials and dis-fellowshipped him. Oral Roberts University removed him from the board and Oral himself felt he had to denounce the Gospel of Inclusion. Pearson’s small congregation began meeting on Sunday afternoons in an Episcopal Church in Tulsa. I cannot imagine a more hostile environment to teach the Gospel of Inclusion than Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yet he continues to press forward.

Carlton Pearson has written two books, “God is Not a Christian” and “The Gospel of Inclusion.” He has become a go-to guy for liberal media people when the subject of Hell comes up. (I do not like these types of people and feel that they edited the interviews to promote their own agendas, rather than focus on Carlton’s.) But he is working in relative obscurity, compared with his former high profile. But the times, they are a changing!

In 2000, when I first began to seriously embrace the Gospel, there were very few people proclaiming this message. Gary Amirault’s Tentmaker site was one of the few places I could turn for information. But Carlton Pearson and men like Mike Williams have gained quite a foothold and the message is growing in acceptance.
I believe that before Carlton Pearson dies, he will again command tremendous respect from a wide range of Christianity. I see Evangelicalism as a dying form of Christianity that divides mankind and will not survive well into the Twenty-First Century. A God that eternally burns and tortures his own creation in Hell is not a God that is to be worshipped, but a God that must be repudiated. After all, we are to strive to follow after and emulate Jesus. I am following the Jesus Carlton preaches.

Someday, I hope to meet Bishop Pearson. Until then, I will continue to follow his story. It is a story of hope. In the end, it will be a story of redemption.

Greg Comes Out of the Closet

I have a pair of Georgio Brutini loafers. In 1997, after my band lost our record deal, I played piano in the pit band at LaComedia Dinner Theater for three months. I was unsuccessfully hit upon by once-famous televangelist John Wesley Fletcher in the TBN studio sometime around 1982. And that about sums up my gay experience. I had several friends over the years who were gay. Most of them felt they had to pretend not to be gay in order to get me to like them. I feel terrible about that.

So today, right here on my blog, I wish to step out of the closet and proclaim that there are several gay men that I like, and a few gay women. And I ask them to forgive me for waiting this long to pubicly announce my support. The following is a list of people I have encountered over the years who I did not understand and did not try hard enough to understand.

Larry C., Larry T., Darryl S. (It is not as funny as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, but I only knew one gay Darryl.), Darryl's partner, Wendell D., Kevin S., Katie R. and Karen, Ron I., Brian G., most of the guys at LaComedia, Diane C., Deana F., the Lesbians in the choir (You know who you are.), the MCA A&R rep, Tom S., and that Kid at Kings High School, the only male in the drill team sometime around 2004. This list is incomplete but I wish I had every one of these encounters to do all over again. It is amazing to me the talent and creative ability this list encompasses. There are world-class musicians, artists, dancers, medical professionals, actors, photographers, and business people on this very short list. And of course, there are a couple of regular, average, everyday people on the list as well.

And my biggest blockbuster confession is that my favorite Bible teacher in all the world is Mike Williams. Mike taught me more about the Gospel than any other person on earth. And Mike is gay. So if my ragging on televangelists does not get me completely excommunicated from the evangelical community, my love for Mike's teaching surely will. I highly recommend Mike's website. Click on the Gospel Revolution or the Glenn Klein Online links above to hear some very insightful teaching. Mike and Glenn (a crazy, non-gay Jewish dude) host the Gospel Revolution webcast each Wednesday evening at 9:00 pm.

(I am shown above at my failed audition for the part of Lt. Jim Dangle on Reno 911. That is Carlos Alazraqui with me. Carlos plays the part of Deputy Garcia on the show. Thomas Lennon only got the part because he has better legs than I do.)

CBS Announces Survivor Tulsa

In an effort to bolster sagging ratings, CBS’ Survivor is currently assembling the greatest cast of megalomaniacs in history. American televangelists will compete in a prime time, no-holds-barred game of politics, backstabbing, alliance building, and manipulation. He that endureth to the end will be awarded with reality TV’s biggest prize ever. Since most of these people are already millionaires, the prize money has been raised to One Hundred Million Dollars! CBS is not worried. This show promises better ratings than the Super Bowl.

CBS is retiring the worn out theme of scantily clad contestants running around on a remote island. Instead, the contestants will wear Giorgio Armani suits and will compete in Christianity’s little island of insanity, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The game will remain the same, with players competing in teams and individual competitions with the winners being awarded “salvation” instead of the usual prize of immunity. Instead of being voted off the island, one minister will be “excommunicated” each week. Tribal Council has been replaced by the Nicene Council. Once each week, those without “salvation” have to defend themselves at the Nicene Council as not being a heretic. The players vote and the minister with the most votes is excommunicated.

The cast is the most famous Survivor cast ever assembled. It includes:

Kenneth and Gloria Copeland (I predict an alliance.)
Benny Hinn
Creflo and Taffi Dollar
Joyce Meyer
Mike Murdock
Richard Roberts
Randy and Paula White (Yes, we know they are divorced.)
Ernest Angely
Robert Tilton
Rod Parsley
Ted Haggard
Pat Robertson
Bishop Thomas Weeks and Juanita Bynum (Currently involved in nasty divorce.)
Jimmy Swaggart

In the opening show, contestants are bussed to the campus of Oral Roberts University and left with nothing but a bullhorn and a Bible. They have just four hours to develop a following of people willing to provide them with food, shelter, and tithe money. The minister invited to stay at the nicest house wins salvation for week one. You might think Richard Roberts has an advantage here, since he was the President of ORU until recently. But because everyone knows Richard personally, he is actually at a huge disadvantage. Las Vegas odds-makers have installed Richard as the early favorite to become the first one excommunicated. This may have something to do with the fact that Richard is a tool.

Some of the competitions will focus on the contestant’s weaknesses. In Week Two, the ministers will be asked to go to a local hospital and perform an actual healing that can be verified by impartial doctors. (The City of Faith Hospital does not count, seeing it is just a big, empty shell, serving as the ultimate symbol of what televangelists are really all about.)

Week Three shows the players at their best as the competition centers around raising money. An impartial crowd will gather in the Mabee Center at ORU. Each minister gets five minutes to make an appeal for money. They are allowed to promise anything in return to the givers. The evangelist with the largest offering wins salvation for the week.

Week Four promises to be the highest rated television show in history. The ministers are taken to the First Baptist Church of Tulsa where they must compete in a highly hostile environment. Each contestant much preach for one half hour without saying something considered heretical by the congregation. There is a great chance that no one will earn “salvation” this week and everyone will be eligible for excommunication.

Week Five promises to be an intellectual free-for-all. On the campus of Tulsa University, the contestants will compete before a panel of philosophy professors for the best example of circular reasoning. For instance, the minister might say, “I have the power to heal you. Therefore, if I pray for you and you remain sick, it must be your fault you did not get healed.” Every one of the contestants has mastered this skill so the competition will be fierce. Of course, any minister actually taking part of the blame for unfulfilled promises will be automatically disqualified.

Survivor producers plan some twists to the competition, including an appearance by the likable Survivor contestant Rupert Boneham and Season One winner, Richard Hatch. Rupert works as a mentor for troubled teens. Each contestant will try to justify himself by his works to Rupert. Rupert will award salvation to the minister who has done the most actual good works through his ministry. Richard Hatch, a homosexual, will be subjected to five minutes with each contestant as they attempt to win salvation by changing Richard’s sexual orientation. Should all the ministers fail, the likely scenario, a second competition will be held to see who can get Richard to “render unto Caesar” and pay his back-taxes.

Televangelist Competition Begins Today!

I have a prediction. And unlike Pat Robertson, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, and others, if my prediction does not come true, I agree to never make an outrageous prediction again. In fact, if my prediction does not come true, I will agree to the punishment imposed upon REAL prophets. You may take me out and stone me to death!

I predict with 100% certainty that the next couple of months are going to see the most egregious and outrageous attempts EVER by the television ministers to separate viewers from their government rebate checks. Combined with tax refunds, April just might be the biggest influx of extra cash on hand in American history. And I would bet my life that most of the big ministries are having strategy sessions right now to come up with just the right gimmick to get that money.

We are going to catch them in the act. I am encouraging every reader to begin recording as many Charlatans as possible. The best gimmicks can be placed on YouTube and I will put links on the blog so everyone can watch. We will award winners in the following categories:

Best Subtle Plea (without actually mentioning the government rebate)
Best Blatant Plea (Benny is even money in early betting.)
Best Offer In Return of Healing, 100-Fold Return, etc. (Probably Copeland)
Best Fake Word from the Lord (You have to go with Pat Robertson here.)
Best “Miracle” Event Held in April (My money is on Rod Parsley)
Best New Project to Complete with Rebate Money (Paul and Jan are the early favorites.)
Best Appeal to the Stupid (Something like, “God told me that someone out there is getting unexpected money in the mail”. This appeal is for people who never watch the news.)
Best Appeal to the Elderly (This category has been owned by Robert Tilton for twenty years. Nobody gets little old ladies to send Social Security money better than Tilton.)

And the Ananias and Sapphira Grand Prize goes to the televangelist who makes such an outrageous statement that anyone with a brain can tell that he or she no longer believes in God. (Again, you have to go with Tilton as the front-runner here.) Remember that Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead for lying about money.

Of course, Creflo, Murdock, and Paula White are expected to come up with some great ideas and could pull off upsets. And everyone is going to be trying to get pledges early, before the competition heats up.

So set those recorders. Your kids can help you transfer the video and set you up on YouTube. It is free. And if you do this today, I promise you that you will be blessed beyond anything you could ask or think. But I could be wrong.

Bush Leaves Legacy of Orwellianism

"Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent . . . the greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding."
Olmstead vs. United States,
United States Supreme Court, 1928
Justice Louis Brandeis

Since the founding of the United States, government officials have been seeking to get around that darn Bill of Rights. "Think how much good we could do, how much crime we could eliminate, how much tax money we could generate, if only we were allowed to spy on regular citizens without search warrants and court approval." "We don't want to by-pass the Constitution for regular citizens, just for criminals."

On September 11, 2001, a group of towel-heads caught us with our pants down and pulled off a brilliantly conceived plan, shocking our nation. Less than 3,000 deaths made us so afraid that we decided to disregard the sacrifice of millions of military men who died to protect our freedom. Congress and the Bush Administration saw an opening and they charged through it, blasting a hole in our Bill of Rights that will never be repaired. They rammed the Patriot Act through the legislative process in record time.

I am sure the Patriot Act has helped stop a few terrorists. But the Patriot Act has accomplished what Osama Bin Laden never could have. It has poured a truckload of K Y Jelly on the slippery slope. The first "terrorist" caught using Patriot Act shortcuts was Las Vegas strip club owner Michael Gilardi. Then they caught a few kiddie porn distributors. Surely no one could argue that the Patriot Act should not be used to shut down this evil. The precedent was set. If the Feds use the Patriot Act to bypass the fourth amendment and they find evidence of a crime, then they are going forward with prosecution and the courts are going to support them.

9-11 was a blip on the radar screen. Yes, it was horrible. But in the end, Bin Laden may have accomplished more destruction than knocking down a few buildings. He succeded in giving the government what it has wanted for over 200 years, a way around the constitution.

Note to Readers: I voted for George Bush twice. I also worked very hard in the 1980's and 1990's to help elect conservative legislators. Sorry 'bout that! Only voting for protectors of liberty from now on. Sorry Democrats.

My New Worship Song, 1st Draft

Have you ever noticed that all Christian worship music only covers the warm and fuzzy aspects of Evangelical Christianity? They sing about love, grace, forgiveness, peace, joy, and eternal bliss in Heaven. But after someone “accepts Christ”, the church sends them to special classes to learn about the other stuff. So I decided to write a little song about all the stuff that never gets sung about. It needs some work, but this is the first draft. Feel free to send me ideas to improve it.

Verse 1:
You accepted Jesus as your saviour
For every bad thing you did up till now
But now you have to keep track of your misdeeds
And confess them, while your sins you disavow

Verse 2:
You may or may not make it into Heaven
You just might be forgiven by his grace
You may or may not need to do good works to make it in
But do lots of good stuff anyway, so you’re covered just in case

Chorus:
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and support
And while you’re doing this, you need to pray without ceasing
And stay ready for the rapture; remember time is short
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and your vote
And while you’re doing this, please place a sign in your yard
Election time is soon; there are Republicans to promote

Verse 3:
Do good to those who do bad things against you
You must love those who may not treat you well
Jesus said that we must love our enemies
While God gets to burn all his in Hell

Chorus:
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and support
And while you’re doing this, you need to pray without ceasing
And stay ready for the rapture; remember time is short
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and your vote
And while you’re doing this, please place a sign in your yard
Election time is soon; there are Republicans to promote

Misquoting the Bible

Over the last twenty-five years, I have had many occasions where a passage from the Bible jumped out at me and altered my thinking. These experiences usually make me laugh or are accompanied by great joy and I feel like I have to call my friend Tom, and share the newfound gem. But recently, I experienced one of these moments and it made me very angry. I became enraged that the verse had been so often misquoted that the true meaning was hidden. It is one thing to take a verse out of context and develop a doctrine out of it. That has been going on almost since the beginning of Christianity. But it is quite another to change the words in such a way as to hide their true meaning.

Recently, I heard someone say a Bible verse and they misquoted it. So I got out my Bible and tried to look it up. The verse is one that has always been popular in fundamentalist/evangelical circles.

“Where sin doth abound, grace doth much more abound.”

Turning to Romans 5:20, I read the verse from the Bible. It said,

“But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.”

I thought that the past tense version I found in Romans 5:20 had to be a similar verse. But there surely was a present tense verse somewhere in the Bible. After all, I had heard the present tense version quoted hundreds of times in my life. A search of my Strong’s Concordance turned up nothing. I spent almost an hour trying to find the present tense version of the verse in my Bible. I tried different versions. I tried the internet.

I found a sermon by Charles Spurgeon with the present tense words. (I think he might have been the first to popularize this quote.) I found this “Bible verse” in the present tense, quoted hundreds of times on hundreds of websites. At this point, I began to shake my head in disbelief. The verse in the present tense does not exist. But it makes a nice sounding quote when making an altar call.

Top 13 Reasons America is Cool

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Amendment XIII
Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment XV
Section 1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.
Section 2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment XIX
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

My Little Kids are Becoming Adults

This photo was taken in 1998 at Disney World. It cannot possibly be ten years since we took this trip. Since then, my hair has turned gray but my wife has remained amazingly hot. The little girl next to me is now a pre-med biology major at the University of Cincinnati. That little boy is now 6' 2-3/4" tall. He is worried that growing another 1/4" will keep him from flying fighter jets. Adam gets good grades in high school, works 20 hours a week, plays guitar in a rock band, and is learning to fly airplanes. He is also in Civil Air Patrol, a military training program sponsored by the Air Force. And like his father, he is a babe magnet.

Debbie and I joke that our kids got all of our good genes and none of our bad ones. Both kids look like Debbie and they got her intelligence and athletic ability. Adam got my musical ability. Sarah got my math skills. And both kids got my fighting spirit. We did not have a third kid because that one was destined to be a genetic disaster.

The empty nest syndrome is hitting us pretty hard. Adam is rarely home and Sarah is away at school. We miss them so much. Last night, we went out to eat with some friends on a weeknight. We have not been able to do that for twenty years. This is just one more road in life’s journey.

Never Give Up!

Last year was a tough one for many of my friends. One lost a spouse, two lost their health, and several had insurmountable financial difficulty. I called one of my closest friends the other day just to make sure he was not giving up. He was not. In fact, the way he continues to fight has inspired me and given me renewed courage to live every day as God's gift.

As a real estate appraiser, I am witnessing the mortgage meltdown firsthand. Ohio leads the nation in foreclosures and part of my job is to appraise homes for banks after the owner has been evicted. It used to be that most of these homes were trashed. You could tell that the people that lived here were probably not fit to own a home. But last year, I began to see a new phenomenon. Newly foreclosed homes would be ready to sell. Before being forced out, the previous owners had cleaned the homes thoroughly. There were no holes in the walls. No stains on the carpet. Yards were mowed. Leaves were raked. It was as if those losing their property were making one last apology to the bank by leaving their dream home in good condition.

Twice in the past few months, I have appraised foreclosed houses that qualified for FHA financing. (To qualify, a home must be structurally and mechanically sound in every way.) This was unheard of before! For the first time in our area, banks are now renting homes because there are so many foreclosures that they cannot sell them all.

My point is that a lot of people are struggling. I have very dear friends in their forties and fifties who are facing forced career changes. These were guys used to making a lot of money who now are having to reinvent themselves and develop new skills. I went through this a few years ago. At thirty-nine, I left the Vineyard church as music director, realizing that I had to change careers. Fortunately, I had a friend who trained me as a real estate appraiser. But my point is that I have been in the same position. It is lonely. It is frightening.

Liberation from organized religion might have created a void for some of you. Many of us experienced enough turmoil in church to push us out the door forever. But church did have one positive aspect: community. And when difficult times come, we all need community. For me, I have not missed church at all, mainly because I continue to strengthen relationships and renew old ones through the Internet. I am fortunate enough to have a few close friends that Debbie and I get together with regularly. I read a lot of blogs and send a lot of email. I even go to an Internet church every Wednesday night. (It is a very irreverent church.)

For those who feel alone in your struggle, I invite you to get in touch with me. Talk about it. Get a plan to recover. And most importantly, continue to fight. I have a friend who is delivering pizzas to make extra money. He probably thinks this is a bit demeaning, considering his past work history. But I think it is admirable on many levels. He is refusing to give up. He is digging himself out of the hole and he inspires me every day. My father started a little lawn care company and did quite well in his later years. I have always been proud of him for that.

So if you are at a low point right now, just thank God you live in America and get up every morning determined to continue to fight. You will make it. If you are being forced out of a good job, don't be afraid to drive a truck for a while. Or deliver pizzas. Or mow grass.

Keep fighting. And enjoy life. Life is good even when it is bad.

I Don't Heart Huckabee!

My registration as a Republican voter is a relic from a time when the Grand Old Party stood for liberty, freedom, self-determination, lower taxes, less government, and respect for the constitution. I rarely vote Republican anymore. I only vote Democratic when the Republican is a lying, two-faced power-whore like Mike Dewine who needs to be sent packing. Though my parents were Democrats, I was a fire-breathing Republican from the time I turned 18. I volunteered to help Congressman Tom Kindness' campaign in 1980. Ronald Reagan got my first two votes for President, the only two I ever cast without holding my nose.

Which brings us to the woeful group of front runners in this year's Republican primary. Rudolph Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee have already said or done at least one thing that precludes my voting for them under any circumstances, even if it looks like Hillary is going to win. (It is important to remember that we never would have gotten Ronald Reagan if not for four dreadful years of Jimmy Carter.)

But as Duncan Hunter is excluded from the New Hampshire debate so that Fox News can appear "fair and balanced", I feel a special resentment in my heart for the only candidate that can be soundly beaten by Hillary Clinton: Mike Huckabee. One week before the election, Hillary's goons are going to drag out video of the Huckster saying we can take this nation back for Christ. There are hundreds of old sermons on cassette tapes in Arkansas basements just waiting to be discovered by the Clinton machine. Surely, Huckabee's dispensationalist doctrine will be aired for all the world to hear, including his Pat Robertson-style beliefs about the end of the world and Armageddon.

Call me crazy, but I think it is not a good thing for a man to have the power to start Armageddon when that man believes Armageddon is inevitable. That one small detail aside, there are still many reasons to fear a Huckabee presidency. Keep in mind that the legislative branch is controlled by what Ayn Rand would call "looters". So while they might oppose every sensible idea Huckabee might propose, they are certain to rubber stamp all of his bad ones, of which there are many.

Let's focus on Huckabee's call for a national ban on smoking. His flawed logic was on display this week when he said that if smoking were a new product, the FDA would never approve it. Therefore, it must be banned. The Huckster's irresponsible statement demonstrates that he cannot tell he is dumping lubrication on the slippery slope leading to a bottomland of Nanny-State Orwellianism.

Before we discuss the lost tax revenues and the prohibition-style black market that would emerge, let us consider what the Huckster's argument would also ban. Everything common in American life that would not be approved if it were introduced as new would now have the potential of being banned. So just simply think of everything some do-gooder has preached against in the past year. Here is a short list:

Motorcycles, alcohol (Didn't we already....?), football, butter, red meat (Oh heck, all meat!) sugar, fast food, guns, back-yard trampolines, gravy, biscuits, biscuits and gravy, caffeine, helmetless bike riding... and so on.

Everyone in America would live five miserable years longer in a nursing home, exacerbating the Ponzi scheme that is Social Security. The point all do-gooders seem to miss is that all of us are eventually going to die. And before some of us pass, we have a burning desire to actually LIVE. I do not want my obituary to say that I lived to be 109 years old. I want it to say that Greg Amburgy enjoyed life to its fullest and pursued life in a manner no crusading meddler would ever understand.

Smokers carry their weight by paying excessive taxes and taking less in Social Security benefits. So not only would Huckabee and the do-gooders eliminate all the taxes collected from smokers, they would inadvertently create a growth industry in the black market. Imagine the violence that would ensue when cigarette cartels began fighting for territory in the suburbs. If the war on drugs has proven anything, it is that where there is demand for something, a market will emerge to fill that demand. And there would be an insatiable demand for cigarettes. You think we are losing the war on drugs? Wait until the law enforcement tab kicks in for the war on cigarettes.

Billions of untaxed dollars would flow to organized crime. Tobacco sniffing dogs would patrol our neighborhoods. The fact that someone smelled smoke on you would become probable cause for a search of your house. That search would reveal the hidden basement freezer with your stash of illegal red meat. Your canisters of bleached flour, sugar, and coffee would be seized as evidence. The fact that you had more than an ounce of coffee would implicate you with intent to distribute.

I am simply taking Huckabee's thought to its logical conclusion. But this line of thinking, preposterous just ten years ago, is infecting all of America and especially our politicians. Where is the candidate who firmly announces that his presidency will be used to protect liberty and freedom? I want to find a candidate with a sound foreign policy, a sound energy policy, and a hands-off domestic policy.

Can you say Ron Paul?