49 Things I've Learned in My First 49 Years

Interesting Things I’ve Learned In My First 49 Years

1) Stuff works out.
I have spent way too many of my 49 years worrying about worst-case scenarios that never materialized.

2) There will always be poor people among us.
From Jesus (This is reinforced by the fact that people who watch Jerry Springer almost always produce more kids than those who watch The Discovery Channel.)

3) If you are buying coffee at 7:00 in the morning, it is okay to leave your keys in your unlocked car with the engine running. All the thieves are still sleeping.

4) A musician who masters the art of background vocals is much more likely to get meaningful gigs than one who does not.

5) Love enriches one’s life far more than material things.

6) The Religious Right crucified Jesus.
I first heard this said by a man who would eventually become General Overseer of the Church of God denomination. I was about forty before I realized he was right.

7) The “prayer in schools” debate is seen in an entirely different light when you get a few Muslim kids in your school district.

8) Except for financing a house, there is nothing worth going in debt over.

9) When pulling up to a drive-through car wash, roll your window down and stick your head out. You can see perfectly to align your tires with the metal tracks.

10) Everyone loves a good redemption story. If you screw up, just admit it and move on to the redemption phase. (Remember, the cover-up is what brought Nixon down.)

11) Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
From James, the Brother of Jesus (Brilliantly re-packaged as “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” by Stephen Covey)

12) Illegal aliens who work twelve hour days are not nearly as big a problem as people who suck the government tit and watch Judge Judy all day.

13) Macs are better than PC’s. (But PC’s and their software are way cheaper.)

14) When hearing statistics quoted, always ask who paid for the study.

15) Almost all Christians underestimate what happened at the cross.

16) The United States is going bankrupt. Accept the fact and prepare for it.

17) The internet could use a truth filter.

18) Making your house a welcome environment for your kids’ friends is far more important that always having a perfectly clean house. (You can buy new carpet when they go away to college.)

19) When trying to figure out someone’s motivation, follow the money first.

20) One can have major disagreements with his parents on a few issues and still feel like he won the parent lottery. (As hard as I try, I’m not sure my mom and dad will ever understand this.)

21) Several times on your way to becoming a professional musician, you will find yourself in the uncomfortable position of being in way over your head. (See #1.)

22) If there is one trustworthy person working on Wall Street, he is probably a cab driver.

23) A society without plumbers would be in nearly as much distress as one without doctors.

24) After being a husband and father, I am most fulfilled standing on a stage backing up Danny Frazier. (The picture in this post is me being fulfilled.)

25) I have a few friends who love me without conditions. (This makes me wealthy beyond measure.)

26) There are some intelligent, thoughtful, and kind atheists. There are also some intelligent, thoughtful, and kind Christians.

27) Sex with someone who knows what you like is always better than sex with someone who has no idea. (For some reason, men are programmed to believe the opposite.)

28) If your heart is kinder than your doctrine, check your doctrine.
From Michael Williams, my favorite Bible teacher

29) Sometimes, a second marriage can be happier than the first one. (Don’t read anything into that, Deb. I’ve just observed some of our friends.)

30) Raising good kids requires hard work, unconditional love, and luck.
I have seen some wonderful parents turn out some really bad kids. See #1.

31) There is no such thing as unbiased journalism.

32) God put hops on the earth for a reason.

33) Every man or woman who works deserves respect. Those who refuse to work deserve none. (I offer a pre-emptive shout-out to stay at home moms. Of course I know it is work.)

34) Government would have already taken back the bill of rights were it not for the second amendment.

35) Some wonderfully life-enriching things happen when a person reaches out to gay/lesbian acquaintances and simply says, “I think I might owe you an apology.”

36) Filling kids’ minds with fear and alarm is child abuse. (In other words, stop telling little kids about Global Warming or how they might be separated from their parents in an apocalyptic scenario.)

37) Mega-Churches will eventually return the church to meeting in houses, where it started. (The organizations become more important than the people who make up those organizations.)

38) The US desperately needs reporters who are willing to ask tough questions of the powers-that-be.

39) Your FaceBook friend list should have people on it who disagree with you on matters of politics and religion.

40) Viewing yourself as a victim is among the world’s most destructive forces.

41) Never fight a legal battle with someone who has lots of disposable income to spend on lawyers.

42) Don’t be afraid to ask out the hottest girl you have ever met. She might say yes. (Thanks Deb.)

43) You cannot choose your kids’ girlfriends/boyfriends.

44) If you ever get a record deal with a major label, remember that corporate politics is just as important as the music.

45) If you ever become a music director in a mega-church, remember that corporate politics is just as important as the music.

46) When the economy is bad, there are always musicians willing to part with good gear for pennies on the dollar on Craigslist.

47) Verizon sucks. But their network is awesome.

48) Everyone is now carrying around a phone that takes pictures and records video. Be on your best behavior at all times.

49) If someone has a Honda Accord for sale with 100,000 miles on it, buy it. It is just getting broken in.

Moving Beyond the Ten Commandments

“I believe in EIGHT of the Ten Commandments.” - Steve Martin, in his classic video, “What I Believe.”

Were you taught the Ten Commandments as a child? Unless you were raised as a religious Jew, I seriously doubt it. I was raised in church and went three or four times a week until I was in my twenties. Yet, I was never taught the Ten Commandments. I read them a few times while reading the entire Bible through. I heard preachers refer to them. I was taught a list of ten rules that were purported to be the Ten Commandments. But no one ever took the time to teach me the actual commandments.

If you were like me, someone taught you this list of rules in Sunday School.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10. Thou shalt not covet.

This list is purported by most Christians to be the Ten Commandments. In fact, you can buy tee shirts, yard signs, bumper stickers, and even a billboard with these rules. They even come with a proclamation that these ten rules are “America’s Moral Foundation”.

I find it odd that the same religious leaders who claim these “commandments” are the moral foundation of America also believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and should not be altered or edited to suit one’s agenda or personal beliefs. Yet they have edited the actual words handed down by Moses and inscribed in stone by God himself. That’s right! The ten rules that get evangelicals so exercised are not in the Bible at all, at least not in the form they claim. Why? Because there are some major problems with the original commandments. Society has evolved to a point where some of the wording is downright offensive, even to the most moral members of the Moral Majority. The scripture references are taken from the King James Version in Exodus Chapter 20.

Verses 1-3. And God spake all these words, saying, I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

So far, so good. At a time when polytheism was dominant throughout the world, Y’WAY wanted to reinforce that He was the God to be worshipped and followed. It is amazing that “God spoke all these words”, yet many of the words are left out of what we teach our children.

Verses 4-6. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Don’t make any graven images? You mean like this one? (Click on the link to see a blatant violation of the Ten Commandments.)

Do not make unto thee any graven image or any likeness of any thing. Christians say that we are not to bow down to them or serve them. But this is not what the original commandment says. It says we are not to make any graven image or any likeness of any thing. This is why some sects of Judaism and Islam have such problems with paintings, sculpture, and photography. They are following the commandment as it was given. Christians say that as long as we don’t bow down to the image and worship it, we are not violating the commandment. This is just not so.

And then comes some very problematic wording directly from the commandment. God promises to visit the iniquity, or violation of the commandment, upon three or four generations of the descendants of the transgressor. Of course, most Christians disregard this wording altogether. (The ones that teach it as written are the psychopaths going around promising to remove generational curses and having their followers blame their parents and grandparents for all their problems. I won’t get started on this crazy, manipulative bunch.) In civilized society, we do not hold one accountable for his parent’s wrongdoing. We would consider this an injustice. If a man is highly in debt at his death, we do not pass that debt on to his children. If a man is a murderer, we do not also imprison his son or daughter. Yet, we worship a god who does this? How strange. Does this seem like the “foundation of America’s morality”? Thanks be to God, it is not.

Verse 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Christians vary widely in their interpretation of this commandment. Some say this means we are not to swear falsely by the Lord’s name. Others say we are not to use God’s name as a vulgarity or profanity. But the original understanding was that God was so awesome that his people were not to mention his name out loud. Even to this day, many Jews will write Yahweh as Y’weh or Y’wa to avoid even fully mentioning the name of God. I am not going to quibble about this one. I think the world might be a better place with less profanity. And I think a man’s oath should be his bond.

Verses 8-10. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Do Christians have a Sabbath day? Seventh Day Adventists are correct that Saturday was the Sabbath. They still recognize and claim to honor this commandment. Most Christians have adopted Sunday as the traditional day of worship and rest. Yet almost no Christian groups enforce the traditional Jewish understanding of the Sabbath. In the wilderness, God supplied enough manna on Friday to feed the Jewish people for two days. This was because even going out and collecting manna was considered work and a violation of the commandment to keep the Sabbath holy. Most Christians have completely ignored this commandment as it was given.

Next, we come to the biggest problem with the commandments as given. God seems to imply that slavery is accepted as long as those manservants and maidservants do not labor on the Sabbath day. Did God endorse slavery? American southerners certainly argued that he did. Our history shows that verses like Genesis 20:10 were used to argue for the morality of a slave-owning society. Why? Because that’s what it says! Right there in the Ten Commandments, God says a man should not allow his slaves to work on the Sabbath. The Old Testament is replete with references to slavery and forced servitude. In other places, the Bible refers to “hired servants” or those receiving a wage for their work. But it is also clear that there was no prohibition against owning slaves.

Even the New Testament book of Philemon seems to endorse slavery as acceptable. The Apostle Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus, a runaway slave, back as a brother. Philemon, a slave owner, was called “our dearly beloved and fellow labourer” in the Bible, the supposed inerrant Word of God. Paul does not ask Philemon to free his slaves. Does this sound like the “moral foundation of America”? Many African Americans might agree that it does. Thankfully, American Christians, especially Quakers and Northern Baptists were steadfast in their opposition to slavery. And in opposition to the prevailing thought in the 1700’s, our founding documents proclaim all men to be created equal. This was in obvious contradiction to reform theology, or Calvinism, which taught that some men were created for God’s glory and others were created for God’s wrath.

The next commandment offers a promise to those who keep it. But the promise is only meant for the Hebrew people.

Verse 12. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This was a direct reference to the specific land given to Hebrew people by God. While honoring one’s father and mother seems to be a good thing, the promise of long life is only offered to those who live “upon the land” given by God to the Hebrew people. This is a clue that the commandments were given to the Hebrew people and not to everyone. In fact, the commandments were not given to everyone. They were given to Moses to help bring the people to the conclusion that they needed a savior. I will address this later.

The next four are important rules that have helped to shape western morality.

13. Thou shalt not kill.
14. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15. Thou shalt not steal.
16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

These rules are great guidelines, but adultery is not considered criminal anymore. It brings bad consequences, but no one has gone to prison for adultery in quite some time. And if bearing false witness was enforced as criminal, most of Congress would be serving hard time. This demonstrates how morality has evolved. As a society, we have decriminalized actions that would have resulted in death by stoning in Jesus’ time. There is a raving lunatic named Roy Moore who is running for Governor of Alabama. His claim to fame is that he fought to keep the Ten Commandments posted in his courtroom. But did he? No. He fought to keep the little edited version posted in his courtroom.

Our criminal code is not based on the Ten Commandments. If it were, the following things would be illegal and punishable in a court of law:

Worship of any god other than Yahweh (We would lock up Pagans, Hindus, Scientologists, and all others who worship another deity.)
The making of graven images or likenesses of anything and especially the worship of them (Do you think we have enough prison space to lock up all the artists and photographers? How about Catholics who incorporate images of the Virgin Mary or other icons in their worship?)
Working on Saturday
Speaking out against one’s parents who have abused or molested them
Sexuality outside of one’s marriage

These things may or may not violate someone’s personal morality, but they are no longer considered criminal. Thank God that these rules, in their original form, were not the basis for the laws that govern us today. Thank God that we universally view the Dred Scott Decision as one of America’s darkest moments. Thank God that Southern Baptists, whose denomination was formed out of a split with northerners over slavery, no longer use scripture to justify laws that deprived blacks of their basic rights as human beings.

(For those who question why I would bring up the Dred Scott case, I suggest you read the whole text of the court’s majority opinion. It thoroughly demonstrates that many of the original colonial and state laws endorsed slavery and used Christianity in support of the opinion that blacks were vastly inferior to whites. Even in states where slavery was illegal, blacks and mixed race persons were bound by laws not affecting whites. The Dred Scott Decision is the most disgusting legal document in our history. Yet it opens our eyes to the way many of our founders viewed Africans. And much of that opinion was based in the prevailing Christian opinions of the time. It can be found here.)

So am I a left-wing hater of all things American? On the contrary, I believe the United States is the greatest country ever created. We overcame the prevailing prejudices our forefathers brought from other parts of the world. Our freedom of speech and the press helped change opinions rooted in ignorance.

This brings us to the final commandment.

Verse 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

Anyone who has spent much time in church knows of a minister who was removed from his position for committing adultery. But does anyone know of a minister who was removed from his church for thinking about committing adultery? But if we truly believe we are to follow the Ten Commandments as originally given, thousands of ministers should be honest and resign their positions instantly.

Jesus was the last, and greatest, teacher of Moses’ Law. Jesus taught the law as it was given, not as it was edited. Jesus taught the parts of the law that the Pharisees overlooked so they could appear righteous. Simply put, the law was harsh. And Jesus taught it that way. He said this in Matthew, Chapter 5:

Verses 27-30. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Jesus’ teaching was intended to remind us that no flesh is justified by the Law. The Law of Moses was our harsh schoolmaster, showing us our inability to measure up and our need for a savior. Was Jesus hopeful that his followers would heed his words and begin hacking off their extremities and pulling eyeballs from their sockets? No. Jesus was teaching the law in its comfortless reality. He uses the last commandment to show us the futility of trying to please God in the flesh. We place emphasis on the act of committing adultery. But Jesus said that if we even think about it, we are found guilty in God’s sight. Who can measure up to such a standard? I will admit that I cannot.

There was a reason the Ten Commandments were given in stone. That was because we were not supposed to edit them. So why do Christians get bent out of shape when secularists try to remove their little edited list of rules from a courthouse wall? The little edited list is not the Ten Commandments. It is a little edited list of rules and nothing more. And the little edited list is not even our list. The Ten Commandments were given to the Hebrew people. They were not given to us. How do Christians miss this point?

It is time for Christians to move on from the glory that faded to the glorious liberty we have been given in Christ. Moses put a veil over his face to hide the fact that the glory of the law faded away. But we still blindly seek to please God through the keeping of the law. Even worse, we condemn others who don’t follow our little edited list and further alienate them from the one who came to fulfill the law. Our ministry is supposed to be one of reconciliation. But we have traded it for a ministry of condemnation.

Paul said that when Moses is read, a veil appears over the heart. As Christians, it is inexcusable for us to read Moses’ Law to unbelieving people and expect that they follow it. Our job is to remove the veil, not to continue placing it on the unbeliever’s heart by insisting they measure up to our little edited list. I am no longer ashamed to say that I have moved on from the faded glory of the Ten Commandments into the freedom and liberty given at the cross by Jesus. Get over the Ten Commandments. They are not ours. Some of them are no longer relevant. Some are even offensive.

Grace and peace.

Thoughts on Adam's Graduation Day

Adam graduated from Kings High School today at the Cintas Center on the campus of Xavier University. Earlier this morning, we attended the funeral of my friend, Tony Glass, about two hundred yards away in Xavier’s Belermine Chapel. It has been both a difficult and wonderful day. I cried more today than I have in the past year. I learned that my friend of twenty-five years was awarded the bronze star for bravery in combat in Vietnam. He had never told us. Five hours later, I watched young men receive diplomas who I coached as tee ball players.

I felt an empty feeling because one of Adam’s friends did not graduate with his class. He is a kid that I really like who had a little trouble with the law. He should receive a diploma in August after completing a couple of online courses. I cried when Brandon Berman accompanied a soloist on guitar. He is a brilliant Jewish kid who, at sixteen, engaged me in an enlightening conversation about Frederich Nietchze. I advised him to postpone Nietchze and chase girls. Brandon plays music with Adam and I think he has all the tools to be a very special songwriter. I cried when they read a list of young men already enlisted in the armed services. The entire crowd, including the graduates, gave a long, standing ovation to these seven young men. One of them, Brandon Hayes, is one of Adam’s good friends.

We saw Adam’s beautiful girlfriend, Jenny, receive her diploma. She is going to study nursing at the University of Kentucky. We screamed loudly for Adam’s best friend, Javier Fransisco Cordero, as he walked across the stage. Javier is like a second son to me. His father is an executive with Procter and Gamble who was transferred to Cincinnati from Mexico City when the boys were in fifth grade. They are nearly inseparable. Javier speaks Spanish and English without the trace of an accent. And he is fluent in French. He will study international business at Kent State and something tells me he might run P & G someday.

There is something very special about Kings High School. It is a wonderful learning environment that feels like a family. Both Sarah and Adam blossomed there. Kings just might be the area’s best kept secret. It feels like a small school, but offers the opportunities of a larger high school. The sports, music, and drama programs are top notch. They stress math and science and nearly every freshman passes the Ohio graduation test on the first try. It seems like most of the kids are bright, polite, adventurous, and optimistic. Adam and Sarah attended kindergarten through twelfth grade at Kings. Many of their elementary teachers attended today’s graduation and sought out the graduates they taught years before. Mrs. Weed grabbed Adam and gave him a big hug.

Kings lost a very special principal during Adam’s freshman year. Mr. Higgins was loved by the student body and his untimely death brought the school together. Mr. Mader has stepped in and done a wonderful job. The teaching staff is a highly dedicated group that brought out the best in my kids. Sarah is a pre-med student at the University of Cincinnati. Adam has been accepted into the engineering program at Ohio University, in Athens. We feel that their high school education is nearly on par with the top private schools in the area.

As we stood outside the Cintas Center after the graduation, I remarked to one of the parents that I regretted that Nick Kurtz did not graduate with this class. Nick played sports with Adam and attended Kings from kindergarten through his junior year, when the family moved to Columbus. Just then, I heard someone say, “Mr. Amburgy, I’m right here.” Nick was standing right behind me. He drove down to see all his friends graduate. It was a wonderful coincidence. It was a wonderful day.