Boys Night Out

One of the new trends in real estate is something I call the "man space". This is a room that is detached from the main house, where men can gather and be men. In the last year, I have probably seen ten properties that had deluxe man spaces. These are sometimes a room over a garage or a converted carriage house. Out in the country, men build metal pole barns to work on cars or keep their horses. But one room in the barn is the man space. When Adam graduates from high school, we want to move a bit farther from the city and get a home with about five acres. I want a couple of nice quarter horses, a stocked pond, and a man space.

A good man space has several things. First, it is not attached to the house so cigar smoking is not just permitted, it is almost required. It should be heated, preferably with a wood stove. It needs a good card table, a half bath, a wet bar, microwave, and a refrigerator. Of course, it must have cable or satellite tv with couches that are old enough that spilling food on them does not upset anyone. If your man space is in a pole barn or garage, you will need a 1960's or 1970's era muscle car that is in the process of being restored. A Harley also works. You need a work bench with a vice, a drill press, and a Kennedy tool box. All of your tacky sports memorabilia should be prominently displayed along with concert posters of your favorite bands.

My friend has a pretty good man space. Saturday night, I am going over for Poker and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. There will be beer drinking, cigar smoking, cussing, exaggerating, outright lying, and lots of spicy, high cholesterol foods like chicken wings. I am a terrible poker player so that makes me a very popular invitee to poker parties. But where else could I have this much fun for $35?

I get all of my "man-ness" out in one night. Then, I am a good, civilized, hard-working man for three or four weeks. I love mixed martial arts fighting. Rich Franklin, from Cincinnati, is my favorite fighter. Boxing was my thing until Don King ruined it. Aaron Pryor's son is going to be very good in mixed martial arts. He trains in Cincinnati and seems to have his daddy's lightning fast jab.

So if you are tired of trying to get your wife to let you have your neanderthal friends over for a game, get a man-space. As a real estate appraiser, I think it will definitely add value to your property.

Greg's Note: I was corrected by a reader, Frankie Pryor, Aaron's wife. Aaron's sons box but are not involved in mixed martial arts. I got my misinformation from a MMA fighter whose house I appraised. I may have to go back over there and kick his butt. Maybe not.

Never Give Up!

Last year was a tough one for many of my friends. One lost a spouse, two lost their health, and several had insurmountable financial difficulty. I called one of my closest friends the other day just to make sure he was not giving up. He was not. In fact, the way he continues to fight has inspired me and given me renewed courage to live every day as God's gift.

As a real estate appraiser, I am witnessing the mortgage meltdown firsthand. Ohio leads the nation in foreclosures and part of my job is to appraise homes for banks after the owner has been evicted. It used to be that most of these homes were trashed. You could tell that the people that lived here were probably not fit to own a home. But last year, I began to see a new phenomenon. Newly foreclosed homes would be ready to sell. Before being forced out, the previous owners had cleaned the homes thoroughly. There were no holes in the walls. No stains on the carpet. Yards were mowed. Leaves were raked. It was as if those losing their property were making one last apology to the bank by leaving their dream home in good condition.

Twice in the past few months, I have appraised foreclosed houses that qualified for FHA financing. (To qualify, a home must be structurally and mechanically sound in every way.) This was unheard of before! For the first time in our area, banks are now renting homes because there are so many foreclosures that they cannot sell them all.

My point is that a lot of people are struggling. I have very dear friends in their forties and fifties who are facing forced career changes. These were guys used to making a lot of money who now are having to reinvent themselves and develop new skills. I went through this a few years ago. At thirty-nine, I left the Vineyard church as music director, realizing that I had to change careers. Fortunately, I had a friend who trained me as a real estate appraiser. But my point is that I have been in the same position. It is lonely. It is frightening.

Liberation from organized religion might have created a void for some of you. Many of us experienced enough turmoil in church to push us out the door forever. But church did have one positive aspect: community. And when difficult times come, we all need community. For me, I have not missed church at all, mainly because I continue to strengthen relationships and renew old ones through the Internet. I am fortunate enough to have a few close friends that Debbie and I get together with regularly. I read a lot of blogs and send a lot of email. I even go to an Internet church every Wednesday night. (It is a very irreverent church.)

For those who feel alone in your struggle, I invite you to get in touch with me. Talk about it. Get a plan to recover. And most importantly, continue to fight. I have a friend who is delivering pizzas to make extra money. He probably thinks this is a bit demeaning, considering his past work history. But I think it is admirable on many levels. He is refusing to give up. He is digging himself out of the hole and he inspires me every day. My father started a little lawn care company and did quite well in his later years. I have always been proud of him for that.

So if you are at a low point right now, just thank God you live in America and get up every morning determined to continue to fight. You will make it. If you are being forced out of a good job, don't be afraid to drive a truck for a while. Or deliver pizzas. Or mow grass.

Keep fighting. And enjoy life. Life is good even when it is bad.