Appraising Stuff

The End of the World Doctrine (And Why It Matters)

2011-03-15T23:03:00.001-04:00

If Facebook keeps records of its most frequently “de-friended” people, I would probably rank pretty high. In the past twelve hours, I think I lost seven. There is no subject that embroils my passions more than discussions of the end of the world. Some of my friends privately asked me to explain some rather scathing remarks I made to a close friend in such a public forum. This is my attempt:

In almost every respect, my childhood was perfect. I had two parents who loved me, provided for me, educated me, and took time for me. I lived in a middle-class neighborhood where we never worried about crime. I really only had one worry. From my earliest memories, it was engrained in my mind that I would never reach adulthood. I was taught that I would probably not graduate from high school. I would not get married nor have kids of my own. Jesus was coming any day. And I had better be ready, or the consequences were dire.

I remember one horror-filled day when I was very young, probably around eight or so. My mother had taken me shopping at the Tri-County Mall Sears store. I wondered off while she looked through racks of dresses. When I returned, she was not in the same place and I panicked, sure that the rapture had taken place and I had been left. I broke into tears and went running through the store looking for my mother. I remember the relief of finally seeing her a few aisles from where she had been.

But this was not just one single experience. Many of my Pentecostal friends recall instances of fear that they had missed the rapture. I can recall making phone calls to a little old lady in our church, just to make sure she was still on earth. Our church provided almost no “assurance of salvation” as Calvinists might call it. We were taught about the cross and the blood of Jesus forgiving sin, but our behavior was the overriding factor in determining who went to heaven and who did not. Any deviating from the straight and narrow path put us in a position to be lost. This mentality became even more burdensome as we became teenage boys. Our hormones were raging and lust became the sin most likely to keep us earthbound in the event of the rapture.

These lyrics are from one of my favorite childhood songs:

Jesus is coming soon, morning or night or noon
Many will meet their doom, trumpets will sound
All of the dead shall rise, righteous meet in the skies
Going where no one dies, heavenward bound

We sang a lot of songs in church about the end of the world. In hindsight, it seems that most of those songs combined warnings about our duty to make sure we were ready for Christ’s return. At least in our church, the word “righteous” above had very little to do with Jesus atoning work on the cross and a lot to do with our behavior. Here’s another of my favorites:

I’m getting ready to leave this world
I’m getting ready for the gates of pearl
Keeping my record bright, watching both day and night
I’m getting ready to leave this world

Looking back on my childhood, most people would say I was a pretty good kid. I rarely got in any serious trouble and did okay in school. But “keeping my record bright” was a constant concern. The Grace Movement had not yet infiltrated the Pentecostal church. We were bombarded with “prophetic messages” and the “interpretation of tongues” in which the speaker, claiming to speak directly from God, warned us that “his coming was nigh, even at the door”. The fear was enough to keep most of us from straying too far from the “path of righteousness”. A good sermon about the rapture was always sure to pack the altar with people wanting to make sure they were ready.

Hal Lindsey wrote a preposterous book in 1979 called “The 1980’s, Countdown to Armageddon”. I was a senior in high school and it had not yet occurred to me that it was possible our church could be wrong on this issue. At that time, the bad guys in the Biblical books of Daniel and Revelation were the Soviets. The Godless Commies had nukes and appeared to be the infamous “Bear from the North”. Radical Islam was not yet a threat, so the fear mongers among us were unable to make the connections that seem so “obvious” in 2011. Hal Lindsey, Jack VanImpe, and Tim LaHaye are still raking in millions of dollars in book sales as they change the characters in the same tired drama. And LaHaye’s work is the most egregious, because it targets children and teenagers with this message of fear.

And this brings us to the reason I care so much about this issue: I am in general, a live-and-let-live kind of guy. I almost never engage in religious arguments with friends or on public forums like Facebook. You are free to believe what you will and hopefully your religious tenets bring your life meaning and motivation. But I cannot back down from this issue, as ugly and contentious as the arguments get. I stand amazed that so many of my childhood friends are exposing their children to the same doctrine, continuing the cycle of abuse.

Yes, I said “abuse”. Teaching your young children that they will not live to adulthood can bring about serious psychological problems. It did for me. At a very minimum, they will not be as prepared to succeed as adults as they need to be in a competitive global economy. Why strive for academic excellence if you are convinced that Jesus is coming so quickly? I urge my friends who are so upset with me to consider the damage they are doing to their children. If you believe this doctrine, obviously you consider it a disservice to your children to not warn them. If this is the case, I urge you to offer your children the assurance of their right-standing with God, not by their works, but by the work of Christ on the cross. Allow them to feel the confidence that God loves them in spite of their weakness and frailty as humans. And when they reach adulthood, their faith will not be challenged because they were not taught fearful things that did not come to pass.

I am now 50 years old. The children I thought I’d never have are both in college. Yet the fear-mongering continues within the church, but it need not be that way. I urge my friends to consider Daniel’s prophecy of the “70 weeks of years” in light of the events of 70 AD, when Titus sacked Jerusalem with the Roman army. I urge you to read Matthew 24 in the context of Jesus’ day and his earlier teaching about his death signifying the destruction of the temple. As a believer, you are free to believe Jesus’ words in verse 34. “This generation shall not pass till all these things are fulfilled.” You need not take the giant leap in logic required to believe the “gap theory” or the idea that the “fig tree” represents the Israeli people and their formation of their nation in 1948. There are great resources available on the internet to counter the indoctrination you have on this issue.

Let me close with a disclaimer. There are proponents of a view of church history called Preterism. A few of these people tend to oppose Israel with a subtle anti-semitic viewpoint. I just want to preemptively distance myself from this position. I am a big supporter of the nation of Israel, but not because I believe in their divine right to this land. I support freedom, women’s rights, and democracy all of which are embodied in Israel’s existence. The Jewish people survived the holocaust and I fully support their right to a homeland. Israel stands as a beacon of light in the middle of a dark, Islamic world. My support for Israel is political and practical, not religiously or prophetically motivated.

49 Things I've Learned in My First 49 Years

2009-10-28T08:56:00.006-04:00

Interesting Things I’ve Learned In My First 49 Years

1) Stuff works out.
I have spent way too many of my 49 years worrying about worst-case scenarios that never materialized.

2) There will always be poor people among us.
From Jesus (This is reinforced by the fact that people who watch Jerry Springer almost always produce more kids than those who watch The Discovery Channel.)

3) If you are buying coffee at 7:00 in the morning, it is okay to leave your keys in your unlocked car with the engine running. All the thieves are still sleeping.

4) A musician who masters the art of background vocals is much more likely to get meaningful gigs than one who does not.

5) Love enriches one’s life far more than material things.

6) The Religious Right crucified Jesus.
I first heard this said by a man who would eventually become General Overseer of the Church of God denomination. I was about forty before I realized he was right.

7) The “prayer in schools” debate is seen in an entirely different light when you get a few Muslim kids in your school district.

8) Except for financing a house, there is nothing worth going in debt over.

9) When pulling up to a drive-through car wash, roll your window down and stick your head out. You can see perfectly to align your tires with the metal tracks.

10) Everyone loves a good redemption story. If you screw up, just admit it and move on to the redemption phase. (Remember, the cover-up is what brought Nixon down.)

11) Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
From James, the Brother of Jesus (Brilliantly re-packaged as “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” by Stephen Covey)

12) Illegal aliens who work twelve hour days are not nearly as big a problem as people who suck the government tit and watch Judge Judy all day.

13) Macs are better than PC’s. (But PC’s and their software are way cheaper.)

14) When hearing statistics quoted, always ask who paid for the study.

15) Almost all Christians underestimate what happened at the cross.

16) The United States is going bankrupt. Accept the fact and prepare for it.

17) The internet could use a truth filter.

18) Making your house a welcome environment for your kids’ friends is far more important that always having a perfectly clean house. (You can buy new carpet when they go away to college.)

19) When trying to figure out someone’s motivation, follow the money first.

20) One can have major disagreements with his parents on a few issues and still feel like he won the parent lottery. (As hard as I try, I’m not sure my mom and dad will ever understand this.)

21) Several times on your way to becoming a professional musician, you will find yourself in the uncomfortable position of being in way over your head. (See #1.)

22) If there is one trustworthy person working on Wall Street, he is probably a cab driver.

23) A society without plumbers would be in nearly as much distress as one without doctors.

24) After being a husband and father, I am most fulfilled standing on a stage backing up Danny Frazier. (The picture in this post is me being fulfilled.)

25) I have a few friends who love me without conditions. (This makes me wealthy beyond measure.)

26) There are some intelligent, thoughtful, and kind atheists. There are also some intelligent, thoughtful, and kind Christians.

27) Sex with someone who knows what you like is always better than sex with someone who has no idea. (For some reason, men are programmed to believe the opposite.)

28) If your heart is kinder than your doctrine, check your doctrine.
From Michael Williams, my favorite Bible teacher

29) Sometimes, a second marriage can be happier than the first one. (Don’t read anything into that, Deb. I’ve just observed some of our friends.)

30) Raising good kids requires hard work, unconditional love, and luck.
I have seen some wonderful parents turn out some really bad kids. See #1.

31) There is no such thing as unbiased journalism.

32) God put hops on the earth for a reason.

33) Every man or woman who works deserves respect. Those who refuse to work deserve none. (I offer a pre-emptive shout-out to stay at home moms. Of course I know it is work.)

34) Government would have already taken back the bill of rights were it not for the second amendment.

35) Some wonderfully life-enriching things happen when a person reaches out to gay/lesbian acquaintances and simply says, “I think I might owe you an apology.”

36) Filling kids’ minds with fear and alarm is child abuse. (In other words, stop telling little kids about Global Warming or how they might be separated from their parents in an apocalyptic scenario.)

37) Mega-Churches will eventually return the church to meeting in houses, where it started. (The organizations become more important than the people who make up those organizations.)

38) The US desperately needs reporters who are willing to ask tough questions of the powers-that-be.

39) Your FaceBook friend list should have people on it who disagree with you on matters of politics and religion.

40) Viewing yourself as a victim is among the world’s most destructive forces.

41) Never fight a legal battle with someone who has lots of disposable income to spend on lawyers.

42) Don’t be afraid to ask out the hottest girl you have ever met. She might say yes. (Thanks Deb.)

43) You cannot choose your kids’ girlfriends/boyfriends.

44) If you ever get a record deal with a major label, remember that corporate politics is just as important as the music.

45) If you ever become a music director in a mega-church, remember that corporate politics is just as important as the music.

46) When the economy is bad, there are always musicians willing to part with good gear for pennies on the dollar on Craigslist.

47) Verizon sucks. But their network is awesome.

48) Everyone is now carrying around a phone that takes pictures and records video. Be on your best behavior at all times.

49) If someone has a Honda Accord for sale with 100,000 miles on it, buy it. It is just getting broken in.

Moving Beyond the Ten Commandments

2009-07-11T18:10:00.020-04:00

“I believe in EIGHT of the Ten Commandments.” - Steve Martin, in his classic video, “What I Believe.”

Were you taught the Ten Commandments as a child? Unless you were raised as a religious Jew, I seriously doubt it. I was raised in church and went three or four times a week until I was in my twenties. Yet, I was never taught the Ten Commandments. I read them a few times while reading the entire Bible through. I heard preachers refer to them. I was taught a list of ten rules that were purported to be the Ten Commandments. But no one ever took the time to teach me the actual commandments.

If you were like me, someone taught you this list of rules in Sunday School.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10. Thou shalt not covet.

This list is purported by most Christians to be the Ten Commandments. In fact, you can buy tee shirts, yard signs, bumper stickers, and even a billboard with these rules. They even come with a proclamation that these ten rules are “America’s Moral Foundation”.

I find it odd that the same religious leaders who claim these “commandments” are the moral foundation of America also believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and should not be altered or edited to suit one’s agenda or personal beliefs. Most of those same leaders would agree that John’s warning at the end of Revelation applies to the whole Bible.

“If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

Yet they have edited the actual words handed down by Moses and inscribed in stone by God himself. That’s right! The ten rules that get evangelicals so exercised are not in the Bible at all, at least not in the form they claim. Why? Because there are some major problems with the original commandments. Society has evolved to a point where some of the wording is downright offensive, even to the most moral members of the Moral Majority. The scripture references are taken from the King James Version in Exodus Chapter 20.

Verses 1-3. And God spake all these words, saying, I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

So far, so good. At a time when polytheism was dominant throughout the world, Y’WAY wanted to reinforce that He was the God to be worshipped and followed. It is amazing that “God spoke all these words”, yet many of the words are left out of what we teach our children.

Verses 4-6. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Don’t make any graven images? You mean like this one? (Click on the link to see a blatant violation of the Ten Commandments.)

Do not make unto thee any graven image or any likeness of any thing. Christians say that we are not to bow down to them or serve them. But this is not what the original commandment says. It says we are not to make any graven image or any likeness of any thing. This is why some sects of Judaism and Islam have such problems with paintings, sculpture, and photography. They are following the commandment as it was given. Christians say that as long as we don’t bow down to the image and worship it, we are not violating the commandment. This is just not so.

And then comes some very problematic wording directly from the commandment. God promises to visit the iniquity, or violation of the commandment, upon three or four generations of the descendants of the transgressor. Of course, most Christians disregard this wording altogether. (The ones that teach it as written are the psychopaths going around promising to remove generational curses and having their followers blame their parents and grandparents for all their problems. I won’t get started on this crazy, manipulative bunch.) In civilized society, we do not hold one accountable for his parent’s wrongdoing. We would consider this an injustice. If a man is highly in debt at his death, we do not pass that debt on to his children. If a man is a murderer, we do not also imprison his son or daughter. Yet, we worship a god who does this? How strange. Does this seem like the “foundation of America’s morality”? Thanks be to God, it is not.

Verse 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Christians vary widely in their interpretation of this commandment. Some say this means we are not to swear falsely by the Lord’s name. Others say we are not to use God’s name as a vulgarity or profanity. But the original understanding was that God was so awesome that his people were not to mention his name out loud. Even to this day, many Jews will write Yahweh as Y’weh or Y’wa to avoid even fully mentioning the name of God. I am not going to quibble about this one. I think the world might be a better place with less profanity. And I think a man’s oath should be his bond.

Verses 8-10. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Do Christians have a Sabbath day? Seventh Day Adventists are correct that Saturday was the Sabbath. They still recognize and claim to honor this commandment. Most Christians have adopted Sunday as the traditional day of worship and rest. Yet almost no Christian groups enforce the traditional Jewish understanding of the Sabbath. In the wilderness, God supplied enough manna on Friday to feed the Jewish people for two days. This was because even going out and collecting manna was considered work and a violation of the commandment to keep the Sabbath holy. Most Christians have completely ignored this commandment as it was given.

Next, we come to the biggest problem with the commandments as given. God seems to imply that slavery is accepted as long as those manservants and maidservants do not labor on the Sabbath day. Did God endorse slavery? American southerners certainly argued that he did. Our history shows that verses like Genesis 20:10 were used to argue for the morality of a slave-owning society. Why? Because that’s what it says! Right there in the Ten Commandments, God says a man should not allow his slaves to work on the Sabbath. The Old Testament is replete with references to slavery and forced servitude. In other places, the Bible refers to “hired servants” or those receiving a wage for their work. But it is also clear that there was no prohibition against owning slaves.

Even the New Testament book of Philemon seems to endorse slavery as acceptable. The Apostle Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus, a runaway slave, back as a brother. Philemon, a slave owner, was called “our dearly beloved and fellow labourer” in the Bible, the supposed inerrant Word of God. Paul does not ask Philemon to free his slaves. Does this sound like the “moral foundation of America”? Many African Americans might agree that it does. Thankfully, American Christians, especially Quakers and Northern Baptists were steadfast in their opposition to slavery. And in opposition to the prevailing thought in the 1700’s, our founding documents proclaim all men to be created equal. This was in obvious contradiction to reform theology, or Calvinism, which taught that some men were created for God’s glory and others were created for God’s wrath.

The next commandment offers a promise to those who keep it. But the promise is only meant for the Hebrew people.

Verse 12. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This was a direct reference to the specific land given to Hebrew people by God. While honoring one’s father and mother seems to be a good thing, the promise of long life is only offered to those who live “upon the land” given by God to the Hebrew people. This is a clue that the commandments were given to the Hebrew people and not to everyone. In fact, the commandments were not given to everyone. They were given to Moses to help bring the people to the conclusion that they needed a savior. I will address this later.

The next four are important rules that have helped to shape western morality.

13. Thou shalt not kill.
14. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15. Thou shalt not steal.
16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

These rules are great guidelines, but adultery is not considered criminal anymore. It brings bad consequences, but no one has gone to prison for adultery in quite some time. And if bearing false witness was enforced as criminal, most of Congress would be serving hard time. This demonstrates how morality has evolved. As a society, we have decriminalized actions that would have resulted in death by stoning in Jesus’ time. There is a raving lunatic named Roy Moore who is running for Governor of Alabama. His claim to fame is that he fought to keep the Ten Commandments posted in his courtroom. But did he? No. He fought to keep the little edited version posted in his courtroom.

Our criminal code is not based on the Ten Commandments. If it were, the following things would be illegal and punishable in a court of law:

Worship of any god other than Yahweh (We would lock up Pagans, Hindus, Scientologists, and all others who worship another deity.)
The making of graven images or likenesses of anything and especially the worship of them (Do you think we have enough prison space to lock up all the artists and photographers? How about Catholics who incorporate images of the Virgin Mary or other icons in their worship?)
Working on Saturday
Speaking out against one’s parents who have abused or molested them
Sexuality outside of one’s marriage

These things may or may not violate someone’s personal morality, but they are no longer considered criminal. Thank God that these rules, in their original form, were not the basis for the laws that govern us today. Thank God that we universally view the Dred Scott Decision as one of America’s darkest moments. Thank God that Southern Baptists, whose denomination was formed out of a split with northerners over slavery, no longer use scripture to justify laws that deprived blacks of their basic rights as human beings.

(For those who question why I would bring up the Dred Scott case, I suggest you read the whole text of the court’s majority opinion. It thoroughly demonstrates that many of the original colonial and state laws endorsed slavery and used Christianity in support of the opinion that blacks were vastly inferior to whites. Even in states where slavery was illegal, blacks and mixed race persons were bound by laws not affecting whites. The Dred Scott Decision is the most disgusting legal document in our history. Yet it opens our eyes to the way many of our founders viewed Africans. And much of that opinion was based in the prevailing Christian opinions of the time. It can be found here.)

So am I a left-wing hater of all things American? On the contrary, I believe the United States is the greatest country ever created. We overcame the prevailing prejudices our forefathers brought from other parts of the world. Our freedom of speech and the press helped change opinions rooted in ignorance.

This brings us to the final commandment.

Verse 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

Anyone who has spent much time in church knows of a minister who was removed from his position for committing adultery. But does anyone know of a minister who was removed from his church for thinking about committing adultery? But if we truly believe we are to follow the Ten Commandments as originally given, thousands of ministers should be honest and resign their positions instantly.

Jesus was the last, and greatest, teacher of Moses’ Law. Jesus taught the law as it was given, not as it was edited. Jesus taught the parts of the law that the Pharisees overlooked so they could appear righteous. Simply put, the law was harsh. And Jesus taught it that way. He said this in Matthew, Chapter 5:

Verses 27-30. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Jesus’ teaching was intended to remind us that no flesh is justified by the Law. The Law of Moses was our harsh schoolmaster, showing us our inability to measure up and our need for a savior. Was Jesus hopeful that his followers would heed his words and begin hacking off their extremities and pulling eyeballs from their sockets? No. Jesus was teaching the law in its comfortless reality. He uses the last commandment to show us the futility of trying to please God in the flesh. We place emphasis on the act of committing adultery. But Jesus said that if we even think about it, we are found guilty in God’s sight. Who can measure up to such a standard? I will admit that I cannot.

There was a reason the Ten Commandments were given in stone. That was because we were not supposed to edit them. So why do Christians get bent out of shape when secularists try to remove their little edited list of rules from a courthouse wall? The little edited list is not the Ten Commandments. It is a little edited list of rules and nothing more. And the little edited list is not even our list. The Ten Commandments were given to the Hebrew people. They were not given to us. How do Christians miss this point?

It is time for Christians to move on from the glory that faded to the glorious liberty we have been given in Christ. Moses put a veil over his face to hide the fact that the glory of the law faded away. But we still blindly seek to please God through the keeping of the law. Even worse, we condemn others who don’t follow our little edited list and further alienate them from the one who came to fulfill the law. Our ministry is supposed to be one of reconciliation. But we have traded it for a ministry of condemnation.

Paul said that when Moses is read, a veil appears over the heart. As Christians, it is inexcusable for us to read Moses’ Law to unbelieving people and expect that they follow it. Our job is to remove the veil, not to continue placing it on the unbeliever’s heart by insisting they measure up to our little edited list. I am no longer ashamed to say that I have moved on from the faded glory of the Ten Commandments into the freedom and liberty given at the cross by Jesus. Get over the Ten Commandments. They are not ours. Some of them are no longer relevant. Some are even offensive.

Grace and peace.

Thoughts on Adam's Graduation Day

2009-05-23T21:39:00.004-04:00

Adam graduated from Kings High School today at the Cintas Center on the campus of Xavier University. Earlier this morning, we attended the funeral of my friend, Tony Glass, about two hundred yards away in Xavier’s Belermine Chapel. It has been both a difficult and wonderful day. I cried more today than I have in the past year. I learned that my friend of twenty-five years was awarded the bronze star for bravery in combat in Vietnam. He had never told us. Five hours later, I watched young men receive diplomas who I coached as tee ball players.

I felt an empty feeling because one of Adam’s friends did not graduate with his class. He is a kid that I really like who had a little trouble with the law. He should receive a diploma in August after completing a couple of online courses. I cried when Brandon Berman accompanied a soloist on guitar. He is a brilliant Jewish kid who, at sixteen, engaged me in an enlightening conversation about Frederich Nietchze. I advised him to postpone Nietchze and chase girls. Brandon plays music with Adam and I think he has all the tools to be a very special songwriter. I cried when they read a list of young men already enlisted in the armed services. The entire crowd, including the graduates, gave a long, standing ovation to these seven young men. One of them, Brandon Hayes, is one of Adam’s good friends.

We saw Adam’s beautiful girlfriend, Jenny, receive her diploma. She is going to study nursing at the University of Kentucky. We screamed loudly for Adam’s best friend, Javier Fransisco Cordero, as he walked across the stage. Javier is like a second son to me. His father is an executive with Procter and Gamble who was transferred to Cincinnati from Mexico City when the boys were in fifth grade. They are nearly inseparable. Javier speaks Spanish and English without the trace of an accent. And he is fluent in French. He will study international business at Kent State and something tells me he might run P & G someday.

There is something very special about Kings High School. It is a wonderful learning environment that feels like a family. Both Sarah and Adam blossomed there. Kings just might be the area’s best kept secret. It feels like a small school, but offers the opportunities of a larger high school. The sports, music, and drama programs are top notch. They stress math and science and nearly every freshman passes the Ohio graduation test on the first try. It seems like most of the kids are bright, polite, adventurous, and optimistic. Adam and Sarah attended kindergarten through twelfth grade at Kings. Many of their elementary teachers attended today’s graduation and sought out the graduates they taught years before. Mrs. Weed grabbed Adam and gave him a big hug.

Kings lost a very special principal during Adam’s freshman year. Mr. Higgins was loved by the student body and his untimely death brought the school together. Mr. Mader has stepped in and done a wonderful job. The teaching staff is a highly dedicated group that brought out the best in my kids. Sarah is a pre-med student at the University of Cincinnati. Adam has been accepted into the engineering program at Ohio University, in Athens. We feel that their high school education is nearly on par with the top private schools in the area.

As we stood outside the Cintas Center after the graduation, I remarked to one of the parents that I regretted that Nick Kurtz did not graduate with this class. Nick played sports with Adam and attended Kings from kindergarten through his junior year, when the family moved to Columbus. Just then, I heard someone say, “Mr. Amburgy, I’m right here.” Nick was standing right behind me. He drove down to see all his friends graduate. It was a wonderful coincidence. It was a wonderful day.

1st Adam versus Last Adam

2008-06-15T08:45:00.007-04:00

My friend Tom was a preacher's kid in the same denomination I grew up in. Last week we both tried to remember if we had ever heard anyone refer to Jesus as the Last Adam. Neither one of us could remember ever hearing this mentioned, even out of context. The reason this is so amazing is that we have more than fifty years of combined church attendance in our former denomination. And we went to church services at least 3 times each week and went to Sunday School once a week. We went to countless revivals, campmeetings, and church camps and we attended Bible School every summer. Yet in a very minimum of 10,000 meetings, the two of us never heard anything about Paul's comparison of Jesus to Adam.

There is a very good reason for this. Evangelical Christianity simply cannot justify their doctrine with Paul's teaching on this subject. Paul taught that Adam sinned and brought death to the entire human race. Of course, anyone steeped in Evangelical doctrine certainly understands and believes this half of the equation. But Paul also called Jesus the Last Adam and emphatically proclaimed that his sacrificial death and resurrection resulted in the eradication of Adam's transgression and the redemption of all mankind. In fact, Paul boldly wrote that Jesus accomplishments far outweighed Adam's disobedience.

Evangelical Christianity teaches that all men are fallen because of Adam's sin. And while Jesus helped out a little bit by dying on a cross, man's redemption is still largely up to each individual man. He must accept by faith what Jesus did, repent of his sins, and then strive to live in such a way that will result in his being saved. To Evangelicals, Jesus becomes a "personal savior" providing the believer does all the right things and continues to perform works consistent with that church's requirements for salvation. (It should be noted here that almost all Evangelical churches claim that we are saved by grace apart from works. However, I have never actually been to any church that does not at least preach some works required for salvation.)

At this point, I ask you to click the links and read the entire 5th Chapter of Romans and First Corinthians 15:20-28.

In studying the First/Last Adam comparison, the church is quick to accept the work of the First Adam, plunging all men into a state of sin regardless of his individual level of righteousness or unrighteousness. This is nearly universally accepted throughout Christianity. The church cannot however, accept that the last Adam may have eradicated the result of the first Adam without man's help. You cannot say that Adam's disobedience brought death to all and also say that Jesus' sacrifice just gave some men an opportunity. If this is what you believe, then Adam wins the comparison over Jesus hands down.

Romans 5: 12-21 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: Notice the parenthesis. (For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law. Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come. But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. And not as it was by one that sinned, so is the gift: for the judgment was by one to condemnation, but the free gift is of many offences unto justification. For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.) End of parenthesis. Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous. Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

My research indicates that Charles Spurgeon was probably the culprit who made popular the phrase, "Where sin doth abound, grace doth much more abound." He changed the tense of the word from abounded to doth abound and reinforced the evangelical doctrine that sin is still abounding in the world. His conclusion was that sin was everywhere and God's grace was just existent in small pockets throughout the world. In other words, Adam's sin was far more powerful than Jesus' sacrifice.

But Paul shows us abounding grace that overpowered man's sin. And this occurred at the cross, not when a man accepts that grace through his actions. The result of Jesus' obedience, as the Last Adam, greatly exceeded the result of the First Adam's disobedience. If it did not, then we should sing worship songs to Adam and call ourselves Adamites. Thankfully, this is not the case.

I Timothy 4:10 says "For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe."

Fathers Day Letter to My Dad

2008-06-15T08:36:00.004-04:00

June 15, 2008

Dear Dad,

The older I get, the more I realize how wonderful it was to have you as my father. As a little boy, I did not realize that there were fathers who did not have anything to do with their sons or their sons’ mothers. I never knew there were fathers who did not get up and put in a hard day’s work so their family always had food and shelter. I did not know there were fathers who verbally and sexually abused their children. I did not know there were fathers who routinely beat their sons and told them they would never amount to anything.

I had no idea there were fathers who ran around on their wives and put their families in jeopardy. I did not know there were fathers who, by example, taught their sons to lie, to cheat, and to steal. Later in life, I realized there were fathers who knew nothing about God and who cared very little about morality and always trying to do the right thing.

I did not know there were fathers who had no backbone and would not speak the truth when everyone else was afraid to. I did not realize there were fathers who were ungrateful to live in the world’s greatest country and neglected to teach their sons patriotism. I did not realize there were fathers who gave their sons everything and never instilled a proper work ethic that allowed them to succeed in life.

I took it for granted that fathers who discovered their sons had a little musical talent automatically bought them expensive instruments and made sure they got proper instruction. I thought all fathers encouraged their sons to take risks and follow their heart. I did not understand that all fathers do not model how to be good husbands and create a peaceful, happy home for their kids.

I did not realize there were fathers who lived only for themselves, never sacrificing for the good of their friends and family. I thought all fathers quietly gave money to poor people and expected nothing from them in return. I thought all fathers taught their sons that forgiveness is essential to happiness, even when you are severely wronged.

As I grew older, I came to realize that there are a lot of bad fathers in the world. The years have taught me that I had one of the best. You probably look back and think of things you might have done differently. I am sure you made some parenting mistakes. But I don’t remember them. The good far outweighed any mistakes you made. You taught me how to be a good father to my kids, how to love my wife, and how to put my family first. I am proud of the job I have done as a father. And I learned how to do it from you. Thanks.

Love Always,

Greg

Reconciling Calvinism with Arminianism (Part 1)

2008-05-30T18:17:00.008-04:00

A theological tug of war has been ongoing in Christianity for hundreds of years, in search of an answer to the very important question, “How is one saved?” This question was first asked by devout men who heard Peter preach on the Day of Pentecost, and it is still being asked today. Apparently, the question has not been satisfactorily answered as Christians continue to square off in theological debate on the Internet. Over the next several weeks, I intend to reconcile the two most prominent viewpoints and bring peace and harmony to all of Christianity. You sceptics think there will never be harmony within the church. But Jesus prayed that his followers would be one, even as he was one with the Father. (Okay, I am sceptical as well. But I will make a feeble attempt.)

John Calvin’s theology sought to answer the question of salvation once and for all. To understand Calvin (1509-1564), we must consider that his theology was a repudiation of the Catholic emphasis on works for salvation. Of course, this is an oversimplification but it places Calvin’s positions in context.

The Arminian controversy began in Amsterdam when Jacob Hermann (1560-1609), a Reformed pastor and professor of theology, questioned the Calvinistic traditions he had been taught and forged a new and opposing theology. Followers of Hermann submitted his five theological points regarding salvation to the Church of Holland in 1610, a year after his death. (Hermann’s Latin name was Arminius and these believers were known as Arminians.) I blatantly plagiarize Chuck Smith, of Calvary Chapel, in reprinting his summary of Hermann’s doctrine. Smith’s book is available online and is an excellent short history and summary of the controversy.

The "Five Points of Arminianism" included the following:
1. FREE WILL
Arminius believed that the fall of man was not total, maintaining that there was enough good left in man for him to will to accept Jesus Christ unto salvation.
2. CONDITIONAL ELECTION
Arminius believed that election was based on the foreknowledge of God as to who would believe. Man's "act of faith" was seen as the "condition" or his being elected to eternal life, since God foresaw him exercising his "free will" in response to Jesus Christ.
3. UNIVERSAL ATONEMENT
Arminius held that redemption was based on the fact that God loves everybody, that Christ died for everyone, and that the Father is not willing that any should perish. The death of Christ provided the grounds for God to save all men, but each must exercise his own "free will" in order to be saved.
4. OBSTRUCTABLE GRACE
Arminius believed that since God wanted all men to be saved, He sent the Holy Spirit to "woo" all men to Christ, but since man has absolute "free will," he is able to resist God's will for his life. He believed that God's will to save all men can be frustrated by the finite will of man. He also taught that man exercises his own will first, and then is born again.
5. FALLING FROM GRACE
If man cannot be saved by God unless it is man's will to be saved, then man cannot continue in salvation unless he continues to will to be saved.

Nothing gets a Calvinist more excited than a theological battle. So they convened theologians in Dort in 1618 to attempt to answer the Arminian claims. After seven months, it was concluded that Herman and his followers were heretics. They were excommunicated and a few were even imprisoned. (Calvinists take their theology seriously. And they obviously take great pride in their tulips, as we shall see.)

The Council of Dort formulated the Five Points of Calvinism that is still taught today. The Five Points of Calvinism were not created by Calvin, but by his followers to counter the Five Points of Arminianism. Again, I reprint from Chuck Smith’s book.

Those in the reformed tradition who answered the teachings of Arminius chose the word "TULIP" as an acrostic to summarize their answer to the Five Points of Arminianism":
1. "T" = TOTAL DEPRAVITY - The Calvinists believed that man is in absolute bondage to sin and Satan, unable to exercise his own will to trust in Jesus Christ without the help of God.
2. "U" = UNCONDITIONAL ELECTION - The Calvinists believed that foreknowledge is based upon the plan and purpose of God, and that election is not based upon the decision of man, but the "free will" of the Creator alone.
3. "L" = LIMITED ATONEMENT - The Calvinists believed that Jesus Christ died to save those who were given to Him by the Father in eternity past. In their view, all for whom Jesus died (the elect) will be saved, and all for whom He did not die (the non elect) will be lost.
4. "I" = IRRESISTIBLE GRACE - The Calvinists believed that the Lord possesses irresistible grace that cannot be obstructed. They taught that the free will of man is so far removed from salvation, that the elect are regenerated (made spiritually alive) by God even before expressing faith in Jesus Christ for salvation. If a totally depraved person wasn't made alive by the Holy Spirit, such a calling on God would be impossible.
5. "P" = PERSEVERANCE OF THE SAINTS - The Calvinists believed that salvation is entirely the work of the Lord, and that man has absolutely nothing to do with the process. The saints will persevere because God will see to it that He will finish the work He has begun.

Over the next several weeks, I will be taking each point and attempting to expound upon the verses used to support each position. Then, we will place these verses within their context and show that both Calvinism and Armenianism fall short of the Gospel of Grace and Peace taught by the Apostle Paul. I highly recommend E.E. Guild’s chart from "The Universalist's Book of Reference" (Boston, 1859) 376-77 as a precursor to our study.

Time for Christians to Step Up or Shut Up

2008-04-11T08:06:00.000-04:00

Since 9-11, many of us have searched in vain for the moderate Muslim. We know he is out there somewhere. But when Muslims spew hatred and threaten violence, it seems that you can't find a moderate Muslim cleric with a search warrant. We just want to hear someone from the "Religion of Peace" assure the west that the majority of Muslim adherents are not the hate-mongering bunch they may appear. Of course, the silence is deafening and the unwarranted suspicion of all Muslims continues.

But Christianity has its own versions of the radical cleric. Our most infamous might be Reverend Fred Phelps, of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. Reverend Phelps is famous for his anti-homosexual rants and protests with his followers at high-profile funerals of soldiers and Marines. His cult-members show up with signs proclaiming that "God Hates Fags" along with other unsavory hate speech. They claim that our soldiers are dying because of our homosexual lifestyles in the United States.

I will give Reverend Phelps one thing. He has taken Five-Points Calvinism to its logical conclusion. And those who embrace the TULIP may want to reconsider their flawed theology. That being said, I think it is time for Christians to come out en masse and repudiate Reverend Phelps when he brings his protesting cultists to Cincinnati for Matt Maupin's funeral. (Matt was captured four years ago and his remains were just recently found. His parents have been wonderful as they held out hope and worked tirelessly for the troops. His funeral will be in late April at Great American Ballpark.)

My first reaction to Phelps is always violent. I dream of silencing these idiots with a left hook to the jaw or readjusting their theology with an aluminum baseball bat. But then my Americanism kicks in and I remember why it is important to allow the stupid people to speak freely. Radical idiots always lose when they are allowed to speak freely. People hear their message proclaimed and realize how abhorrent it sounds. So Reverend Phelps must be allowed to protest.

But his protest must not go without opposition. And this is where Cincinnati's Christian community must step up and voice opposition to his madness. I would like to see 10,000 Christians come out to Matt Maupin's funeral and show the world that Reverend Phelps does not speak the majority Christian viewpoint. A quiet, classy counter-protest would be an amazing way to support Matt Maupin's family and send a message to the gay community that they are not hated by Christians.

So come on Pastors. Let's get this done. Or do you, in the back of your mind, agree with Reverend Phelps just a little?

One Awesome Kid

2008-03-29T17:43:00.000-04:00

Friends,

This post is special because I want to tell you about a young man serving in Iraq. His name is Brandon Hutchins and he is my daughter's ex-boyfriend. Brandon is in the Marine Corps and is the kind of young man anyone would be proud to call a son. I did not particularly care much for him when he was going out with Sarah, but he grew on me.

Brandon's mother passed away a few years ago and he was spending a lot of time with his aunt and grandmother, who lived two doors down from us. Our next door neighbors had a nice basketball court in their back yard and we got into some very competitive ball games. Brandon always won. Unfortunately, he lacked the ability to win gracefully. He was always talking trash and trying to get in your head.

The Marines appear to have channelled that energy in a good way. Brandon has become a respectful, thoughtful young man. He is serving with honor in Iraq and I am proud to know him.

If you think of it, please send him a little package or something funny to lighten his burden. Magazines and cookies are always welcome. I am sure he and his buddies would appreciate any note of encouragement they get, even if it comes from a stranger. His address is:

Cpl Hutchins B
2D CEB C CO RCP
Unit 73610
FPO AE 09509-3610

The Conservative Case for Obama?

2008-03-29T17:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry I have not written much lately. I have had some health issues and keeping my business running has consumed all the time and energy I have left.

I came upon this article, written by a very conservative history professor from Boston. All through it, I kept wanting to scream, "Yes, that is exactly right." The link is posted at the bottom of this post.

I have been extremely frustrated by the Republican nominee. John McCain embodies everything wrong with American politics. This week, I laughed as McCain cried that he had no money to run a proper campaign. For years, McCain has sought to squelch free speech under the guise of "getting the money out of politics". Now he has no money and he is complaining. Is not this what he has been saying he wants? Hilarious.

Please do not let fear mongers influence your vote this year. That is ALL the Republicans have. Frankly, Obama's pastor seems quite wacky and Marxist to me. But he pales in comparison to John Hagee, Pat Robertson, and Rod Parsley, who endorse McCain. Reverend Wright's liberation theology is just more left wing dribble for those needing someone to blame. His thoughts will never become policy in the United States. But the Armageddon scenarios preached by Robertson, et al., seem to greatly influence conservative politicians, especially within the Bush Administration. Which is more dangerous? I don't think it is even close.

No self-respecting conservative would consider John McCain. He cannot raise money because the conservatives in the party have no true choice this year.

This article is one of the greatest repudiations of the Bush legacy and the McCain candidacy I have yet read. You can click on the link or cut and paste the address below.

http://www.amconmag.com/2008/2008_03_24/article.html

Peace

Republican Family Values

2008-03-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

It is primary time in Warren County and that means it might as well be November. I believe that Warren County has more registered Republicans per capita than any county in the United States. Democrats have about as much chance of being elected as someone with the last name Huckabee. The primary races basically decide who gets elected in November. Democrats sometimes send a "lamb to the slaughter", but many offices go unchallenged in the general election.

I am a registered Republican only because I am too busy to go to the board of elections and switch to independent. Republican rule has ruined my beloved State of Ohio. Ten years ago, I was screaming to everyone who would listen that Bob Taft would be the worst governor we could possibly elect. One of my father's friends is a big wig in the Ohio Republican Party and was behind Taft ten years ago. Every time I see him, I remind him what the Good Ole Boy network did for our state.

As a registered Republican, I get literature from everyone running in the primary. Because I have a history of voting in primaries, I get more than most Republicans. This year, we get to elect a new State Representative. I had narrowed my choice to two candidates and decided to dig a little deeper to finalize my choice. What I found shocked me!

Based on campaign literature, I had selected a young guy named John Rabenold for my top two. This morning, I learned that this guy has been an executive, spokesman, and lobbyist for Check-N-Go Corporation for the past several years. This is one of these payday loan outfits that prey on the poor, the elderly, the military, and college students. They try to get their "customers" in a cycle of past due payments and outrageous interest rates that can be described as nothing more than legal slavery. This is how the guy affords a $600,000 home in Indian Hill, Cincinnati's priciest neighborhood.

Every day, the Dave Ramsey show has someone who is enslaved to a predatory lender like this. They lend money to desperate people knowing full well the borrower has no possible way of paying it back on time. Then they charge interest rates and fees that quickly escalate beyond the original amount borrowed. Since they helped the Republican Congress rewrite the bankruptcy law, the borrower is stuck in a vicious cycle and cannot break free. Many times, family members bail out the borrower and the lender makes out like a bandit. But even if the person defaults on the loan, they have usually paid enough fees and interest that there is still a tidy profit for the predatory lender. This used to be called loan sharking and was illegal. But now, organized crime has been run out of this business because it has been made legal.

Nearly every military base in the country has several payday loan places in the strip mall nearest the front gate. Military leaders have pleaded with Congress to stop them from loaning money to our armed forces and their spouses. Many have become so far in debt that they have lost their security clearances required for sensitive military work. Many have lost out on promotions due to their indebtedness.

This kind of Republican makes me want to vomit. John Rabenold can take his "family values" and stuff them up his ass. I fear the general craziness that goes with Democratic control of the Federal government. But the idiot Republicans have swung the pendulum so far that I am beginning to believe a correction is in order.

Mr. Rabenold's campaign literature talks about family values. But people like this have NO VALUES.

John Galt Quits Church

2008-02-24T08:53:00.000-05:00

John Galt is the male hero of Ayn Rand's epoch novel, Atlas Shrugged. Atlas was Rand's answer to Marxism and those who attempt to live off the industry of others. While I do not agree completely with Rand's Objectivist philosophy, I believe Atlas Shrugged is the most important work of fiction produced in the Twentieth Century. I recently paid my son to read it and I think it should be required reading for every teenager.

John Galt is a brilliant inventor, philosopher, and physicist. In the story, Marxist philosophy has begun to infiltrate every faction of American life. "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his need" has become the idealism driving government and industry. The lazy and incompetent people realize that they can have government confiscate the wealth and property of those who produce and redistribute it to them. The world becomes an insane collection of People's States where those who create, invent, produce, and work hard are vilified. The strong arm of government takes more and more from the producers and redistributes it to the "looters" and "moochers".

Finally, Galt and his friends decide to remove themselves from society and stop producing. They "go on strike" and quietly recruit every producer to join them. After a short time, there is nothing left to loot and society quickly degenerates to a mob mentality. Galt and his friends begin a new world in Galt's Gulch where truth, integrity, and a man's word are the only laws needed.

Several years ago, I left church, tired of the leadership taxing my talents, my time, and my life to further an agenda that did not reflect my beliefs or my life's purpose. Since then, I have become even more convinced that the church, especially the evangelical church, is some sort of alternative bizarro world where truth takes a backseat to dogma. The church leadership creates imaginary problems like eternity in hell or the idea that Satan is everywhere seeking to ruin your life. Then they offer a solution to these problems if you will only give up your talents, time, money, and dreams to them. This allows them to live out their life dream while depriving you of yours.

In the last eighteen months, my former denomination has had around five hundred credentialed ministers leave the church, almost all of them under the age of 35. Some are leaving for other denominations. Some are leaving for secular employment. But most of them have expressed deep frustration with denominational direction and leadership. Lay people are quitting church in unprecedented numbers. And evidence seems to show that most retain faith in Jesus while rejecting the leadership of the churches they attend. They are tired of the politics and the demands for sacrificial giving of time and money.

To them, I offer Jesus. I do not offer an organization. I do not offer manipulation or guilt. I do not demand tithes. I want nothing. I offer Jesus, crucified and raised from the dead to bring abundant life. I offer Jesus, who fulfilled the law so that we are free from it, all of it. I offer Jesus, who repudiated the religious elite so that we no longer have to obey them.

Each week, I speak to people who feel they must escape the evangelical church but feel guilt and shame about it. My role is to help restore the freedom and life that the church has robbed from them. If this is you, feel free to contact me and share your story. Join us here in Galt's Gulch, where self-appointed religious leaders have no power over you.

I intend to make this subject one of my main topics on this blog. Stay tuned for more.

This Smells like Hillary!

2008-02-23T08:49:00.000-05:00

So Hillary finally decides to go against her true personality and make nice at the most recent debate with Barak Obama. Did she have something up her sleeve? Yesterday, I remarked that Obama must be the cleanest living human on the planet or Hillary's goons would have destroyed him by now. Then Larry Sinclair's video and lawsuit hit.

I'm going on record saying I don't believe a word of it. But doesn't it smell like the Clinton Machine? You cannot prove a negative, so Obama will never be able to get everyone to believe Sinclair's claims are false. Some Americans will never vote for a gay or bisexual man. Others will never vote for a casual cocaine user. And if this only effects 10% of primary voters, Hillary will win Texas and Ohio and get the nomination.

I smell a rat! Her name is Hillary.

Bush's Ugly Legacy

2008-02-09T11:49:00.000-05:00

Writing about the Iraq War is difficult for me. I have relatives serving there and sons of friends, one who gave his life. My daughter’s ex-boyfriend is a Marine currently doing his second tour. I think about him every day. He comes to see me whenever he is home. My son, Adam, is in the Civil Air Patrol, a civilian training organization staffed by former Air Force officers. He plans to join R.O.T.C. in college and will likely become a pilot in the Air Force at some point.

My objections to the war are not born of naïve liberal pacifism or a loathing of our military. In fact, I am profoundly respectful of those who serve in the armed forces. I believe they are the best of the best and many in our nation are unworthy of their sacrifice. My objections to the war are aimed squarely at George W. Bush and his close advisors. They have put the United States in an unwinnable situation where long-term commitment of our military forces is inevitable. The deployment will exacerbate our deficit problems, further weakening the Dollar. And most importantly, it will provide additional fodder for Islamic extremists, aiding in the recruitment of terrorists and strengthening the grip of radical clerics on the region.

In retrospect, Saddam Hussein’s brutal dictatorship served as a stabilizing presence in the Middle East. Of course, that sounds callous, even cruel. But this post is discussing war, where truth and reality must be respected above our idealism regarding the dignity of humanity and our inane desires to speak in politically correct terms. Saddam’s reign of terror kept rival tribal and religious factions under constant fear, thereby limiting most of the civil conflict now plaguing the nation. Iraq is surrounded by nations with brutal dictators, tyrannical kingdoms, and pseudo-democratic theocracies. Saddam’s military, although inept against our superior forces, was sufficient to keep at bay those in the region posing a threat to Iraq.

I allowed Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mike McConnell, Bill Cunningham, and others to sell me on the necessity of taking out Saddam Hussein. But I am a real estate appraiser with no training or expertise in foreign policy. I deeply regret that I allowed those people to paint Democrats opposing the war with the broad brush of cowardice and anti-patriotism. Bush’s advisors were paid to be expert on foreign relations and should have known that removing Saddam would create a dangerous vacuum of power in the region. I think they did know. I believe that neo-cons like Paul Wolfowitz wanted to create a situation where we would have to maintain a military presence in Iraq indefinitely. And the purpose of this military presence is two-fold: the free-flow of oil and the protection of Israel. It should be noted that I like inexpensive gasoline and I wholeheartedly support Israel's right to exist, but not at the expense of our nation's future.

It is obvious, even to those opposed to the war, that we can never leave Iraq. The day we leave, be it tomorrow or fifty years from now, Iraq will see a bloodbath and violent conflict for control of the country. Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Turkey will all choose different factions to support and provide arms to those groups. The resulting chaos and violence will make Saddam’s brutality pale in comparison. Iran would support the majority Shiite population. Saudi Arabia, fearing a next-door neighbor controlled by Iran, would support the Sunni population. Turkey would likely go to war with the Kurds in the north.

Scott Ritter, the U.N. Weapons Inspector in Iraq, was the number one thorn in the Bush Administration’s side before the war began. Ritter claimed that there were no weapons of mass destruction. The Bush Administration went to great lengths to refute Ritter’s expert opinion with limited success. Mysteriously, Ritter was charged with trying to meet a fourteen-year-old girl for sex by Albany police and was branded a sex offender. I have always questioned the bizarre coincidence and timing of Ritter’s arrest. And conservatives instantly jumped on this to discredit him. Suddenly, Ritter became irrelevant. Of course, even if he was guilty, his expert opinions about Iraq’s weapons programs should not have been ignored. But there was no fourteen-year-old girl. And the simplicity with which the CIA could fake a computer IP address should make all of us at least consider that Ritter may have been set up. But I digress.

The fact that Saddam Hussein was a brutal dictator was insufficient reason to remove him from power. If it were, we must question why all of the other brutal dictators plaguing the world are not targeted. Of course, we now know that there were no weapons of mass destruction. Saddam probably had chemical weapons. (He had gassed the Kurds to squelch an earlier uprising.) But chemical weapons without the means to deliver them, en masse, to Israel should have been none of our concern. And Saddam was smart enough to know that Israel would respond to such an attack with overwhelming force. Even a nuclear response was not off the table.

So we went to war and within days, our finest men and women had militarily taken the country. But then the internal violence began, foreshadowing the bloodbath to come. General Patreas’ expert leadership has finally reduced most of the violence with a surge of additional troops and a get-tough policy that does not concede any area to the insurgents. But the success of the surge only proves my point. Only the ever-present power of the United States military can keep the internal violence to a minimum. A troop draw-down will only result in more violence and instability. We must remain in Iraq forever. Paul Wolfowitz got what he wanted: indefinite protection of his beloved Israel at the cost of our economy and our influence in the world.

Hillary Clinton has acknowledged that immediately leaving Iraq is not an option. Barak Obama, in an effort to get the Democratic Presidential nomination, has suggested we could immediately begin leaving Iraq. But he is a smart man. He knows a full withdrawal will only appear to put the blood of millions of Iraqis on his hands.

George Bush has created a foreign policy nightmare for every President for the next fifty years. He has greatly strengthened the position of his good buddies, the Saudi Royal Family, allowing them to spread Wahhabism throughout the world and enrich themselves while denying basic human rights to women and non-Muslims. And I voted for him twice. What was I thinking?

Getting In Touch With My Inner Hippie

2008-02-08T08:45:00.000-05:00

My son is a bourgeoning rock star. In less than two years, he has become a very good guitarist and currently plays with three bands. I noticed his musical ability when he was five. He wanted a guitar at seven. I got him a Stratocaster at the Fender shop in Nashville. I started trying to teach him to play and he just lost all interest. I did not push him. If I had pushed him, one of two things would have happened. He would have become the next John Mayer or he would have resisted and never played again. I'm glad I let him find his own way.

Anyway, Adam and some of his derelict musician friends asked me to take them to Bonneroo, a music festival with about 250,000 people in Tennessee. It will be camping, hippies, 100 bands, 15 stages, and I'm sure lots of leftist politics and global warming alarmists.

I have agreed to go. Debbie jumped at the idea. Our friends, Cary and Roni are going too. Their daughter is also an emerging guitarist.

Yesterday, word leaked that Led Zeppelin might be playing. That may even get my buddy Tom to go. Tom is not a camper! His idea of roughing it is renting a chalet in the mountains where you have to drive 15 miles to get a good Manhattan. I told him to man up and let his love of Zeppelin overpower his love of comfort.

Last week I cleaned out my clothes closet and did not throw away three tie-dyed tee shirts. Now I know why.

The following is my result from the "Are You A Hippie?" test at Kansas Bob's blog.

You're Not Exactly a Hippie...

While you're not a hippie, you've got the spirit of one.
Like most hippies, you have deep beliefs and unusual interests.

You may not buy into hippie fashions, music, or heavy drug use.
But at heart, you are a free spirit and suspicious of the status quo.

Are You a Hippie?

Upping the Intellectual Ante

2008-02-03T09:03:00.000-05:00

I read Julie Bogart's blog every day. She is a pro and her writing style is simple and fluid. There seems to never be a wasted or unneccesary word as the phrases jump off the page and allow you to peer deep into her soul. I am interested in many of the same subjects Julie writes about, but more importantly, I want to become a better writer. And she provides excellent examples every day.

But today, she has ruined my planned day of football, fatty foods, robust ale, and commercials featuring monkeys in suits by enlisting me in a random game of tag. We are participating in a meme, some sort of random theoretical look into our culture. Here are the rules:

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (No cheating!)
Find Page 123.
Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Tag 5 people.

This is mine. Turning to page 123 of my nearest book, "The First American, The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin", I find sentences 6-8 are as follows:

Almanac makers may have placed more or less importance on planetary conjections and transits than almanac readers, who themselves varied greatly in the store they put in such things. But readers expected astrology with their equinoxes and eclipses, and publishers did not disappoint them. Readers expected other expert information as well.

I tag the following five people:
Old Pete, my new friend from England
Brian, a fellow universalist and former Vineyardian
Kevin, a restauranteur and watchman from Lincoln, Nebraska
Tom Stark, who wrote a great piece on a Fundamentalist Funeral Gone Bad
Stuart K. Hayashi, a fellow libertarian and Ayn Rand fan from Hawaii

I feel as if this violates my principle that all chain letters end with me. Sorry guys.

Bringing Back a Popular Saying

2008-02-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

I am going to use my powerful influence in the blogosphere to push for the resurgence of an old catch phrase. This is a phrase taught to me by my father. Its meaning became significant to me as I read books by the founding fathers and champions of liberty who came after them. Men like Thomas Paine, Ben Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson wrote articulately what can be summed up in this simple phrase.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

The beauty of the phrase is that it plainly says something very powerful and equally infers something just as important. The simple wording tells the hearer to take care of himself, to think about things relevant to him, and to hold himself to a high standard. It infers that one should allow others the same privilege and respect their right to do so. But it implies that when you are taking care of yourself, you have no time to stick your nose into the business of others.

America has become the Land of the Freeloader and the Home of those Brave Enough to Meddle in the Affairs of Others. (That used to get one shot.) We are bombarded each day with news of a meddling legislator or pathetic soccer mom trying to come up with a law that encroaches on rights we have held for over two hundred years. It has become quite unfashionable for candidates to proclaim that they will go to Washington and work hard to defend the constitution and at least stand firm against future government encroachment on our rights. Ron Paul is the only elected official I know of in Washington who makes this claim.

Years ago, we decided to buy the argument that if someone’s choice costs the government or an insurance company money, that choice should be taken away. Now come on! Did we actually think that if people stopped smoking or eating red meat that insurance companies were going to lower our premiums or that the government was going to lower our taxes? If you say yes, you are a fool. Yet we bought that argument and are now applying it to everything the do-gooders can possibly identify as bringing pleasure or thrill to life.

MADD founder Candy Lightner has distanced herself from the organization because they have become a prohibitionist group. They accomplished their original goals of toughening DUI laws and raising national awareness about the problem. But do-gooders can never just claim victory and move on with their lives. And this is the problem with every group in America that seeks to “raise awareness” about an issue. They will never stop until the strong arm of government helps them stop an activity they see as bad.

In Ohio, we have an organization called Citizens for Community Values. It is headed by Phil Burress, a former union thug and self-described former porn addict. Phil makes hundreds of thousands of dollars each year strong-arming politicians into enacting his Puritanical views into law. Burress is twice bankrupt and twice divorced, once while President of Citizens for Community Values. He is married to wife number three, also a values activist who makes quite a hefty salary bullying Indiana politicians.

Conservative Christians blindly follow this pathetic loser. Republicans are so indebted to him that they dare not question his financial motive or his past moral failures. I am researching information for a post on Burress. It will blow your mind. My interest in his business stems only from the fact that he pokes his nose into everyone else’s. I, along with many of my friends, have moral failings that rival those of Phil Burress. I am not condemning him for his failures, only for the fact that he is so judgmental of others while making big bucks doing it.

But my point is that we have lost the ability to take care of ourselves and allow others to do the same. Today, I am going to work hard at MY business. That should be enough to keep me busy all day.

Biblical Inerrancy?

2008-02-01T08:07:00.000-05:00

My life as a Christian became much simpler when I figured out that the “New Testament” is not the inerrant, infallible, inspired word of God. Of course, I was taught that it was. That was one of the foundational premises of, not just my belief system, but my life. I somehow fought my way out of Evangelicalism still believing this to be true. There are so many Bible passages supporting Jesus as the Savior of All that I was able to grasp the concept and just ignore all the passages that indicate otherwise.

Then I began to study the struggle for control of the early church. It never made sense to me why Paul was so proud of the fact that the other apostles had no influence over him. He brags about how he did not go up to Jerusalem to meet with them, but instead, went to Arabia. In Galatians, he emphasizes that he had very little contact with the Apostles, except a 15-day stay with Peter and a short meeting with James, the Brother of Jesus.

A few years ago, I read an excruciatingly long book by Robert Eisenman called “James the Brother of Jesus”. Eisenman confirms what the Book of Acts infers and dances around, namely that James was the central figure of the Jerusalem Church and was combining the ritual of Moses' law with the new teachings about Jesus. (It should be noted that Eisenman is of the opinion that James was more correct and that Paul, in essence, hi-jacked the early church by getting it to abandon much of the old ways.) We know that the church in Jerusalem was requiring animal sacrifices, ceremonial washings, and circumcision. So it is safe to say that James (who was not one of the twelve disciples) and the other disciples such as Peter and John, just never understood the finished work of Jesus. And why would we assume that they would? They rarely understood anything Jesus was doing when he was on earth.

There was a debate going on about law and grace. It was a very heated debate. Acts tells us a little bit about Paul’s run-ins with those who required some law to be mixed with grace. It is clear to me that Paul’s much debated “thorn in the flesh” consisted of those sent to buffet him about circumcision and keeping parts of the law. In Paul’s writings, he refers to “flesh” as our desire to please God through our works. Why would he change the context of “flesh” in that sentence?

So Paul and the original apostles were having a decades-long debate about what Jesus' death and resurrection meant for Jews and for mankind. They wrote letters arguing their points, letters that contradict each other’s views. The books of Galatians and James were clearly written in opposition to each other, like editorial opinions designed to influence the opinions of readers. And these debates were sometimes less than cordial. At one point, Paul says that he wishes those requiring circumcision be completely emasculated. Ouch!

Yet Evangelical Christianity has taken books of debate and claimed they are the inerrant Word of God. They claim to believe every word of two opposing arguments as true and infallible. And they base their belief systems on them. Is it any wonder why Christian doctrine is such a mess of gobble-de-gook? This is the equivalent of taking a speech by Hillary Clinton and a speech by Ron Paul and claiming that both are right. In fact, both are so right that neither is, even a little bit, wrong. Do you see the problem?

On the cross, Jesus proclaimed that “It is finished”. I do not believe he intended for the Keystone Cops that followed him to begin another organized religion, or to keep on life-support the religion Jesus had just fulfilled. I believe Jesus reconciled mankind to God through his death, burial, resurrection, and ascension. And if I am reconciled to God, why would I want to join myself to a religion that emphasizes just how unreconciled everyone is?

So I continue to read the “New Testament”. But I read it as the imperfect opinions about a perfect sacrifice.

Boys Night Out

2008-01-30T08:08:00.000-05:00

One of the new trends in real estate is something I call the "man space". This is a room that is detached from the main house, where men can gather and be men. In the last year, I have probably seen ten properties that had deluxe man spaces. These are sometimes a room over a garage or a converted carriage house. Out in the country, men build metal pole barns to work on cars or keep their horses. But one room in the barn is the man space. When Adam graduates from high school, we want to move a bit farther from the city and get a home with about five acres. I want a couple of nice quarter horses, a stocked pond, and a man space.

A good man space has several things. First, it is not attached to the house so cigar smoking is not just permitted, it is almost required. It should be heated, preferably with a wood stove. It needs a good card table, a half bath, a wet bar, microwave, and a refrigerator. Of course, it must have cable or satellite tv with couches that are old enough that spilling food on them does not upset anyone. If your man space is in a pole barn or garage, you will need a 1960's or 1970's era muscle car that is in the process of being restored. A Harley also works. You need a work bench with a vice, a drill press, and a Kennedy tool box. All of your tacky sports memorabilia should be prominently displayed along with concert posters of your favorite bands.

My friend has a pretty good man space. Saturday night, I am going over for Poker and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. There will be beer drinking, cigar smoking, cussing, exaggerating, outright lying, and lots of spicy, high cholesterol foods like chicken wings. I am a terrible poker player so that makes me a very popular invitee to poker parties. But where else could I have this much fun for $35?

I get all of my "man-ness" out in one night. Then, I am a good, civilized, hard-working man for three or four weeks. I love mixed martial arts fighting. Rich Franklin, from Cincinnati, is my favorite fighter. Boxing was my thing until Don King ruined it. Aaron Pryor's son is going to be very good in mixed martial arts. He trains in Cincinnati and seems to have his daddy's lightning fast jab.

So if you are tired of trying to get your wife to let you have your neanderthal friends over for a game, get a man-space. As a real estate appraiser, I think it will definitely add value to your property.

Greg's Note: I was corrected by a reader, Frankie Pryor, Aaron's wife. Aaron's sons box but are not involved in mixed martial arts. I got my misinformation from a MMA fighter whose house I appraised. I may have to go back over there and kick his butt. Maybe not.

Kay and Kathy with a K

2008-01-29T01:23:00.000-05:00

It is 1:00 in the morning and I cannot sleep. Two friends had dramatic life experiences today and I cannot seem to make sense of them. In just four hours, I experienced a roller coaster ride of emotion and it is not easy to stop the ride just because it is time to sleep.

A couple of weeks ago, Kay was diagnosed with cancer. Kay is the sister of a very close friend. I knew her because we worked together for about three years. The cancer was in the lymph nodes and was in the late stages. The doctor gave her no hope and indicated that intensive chemotherapy might only give her a little time. Kay decided against chemotherapy but agreed to some surgery that could remove a mass and ease some of the pain. The doctors had put her on morphine and oxycontin to ease her pain. They had begun coordinating with hospice so the transition would be smooth when the time came.

Kay’s sister Renee called this afternoon to tell me that when the surgeon operated today, they found no cancer in her body. None. They did not remove the cancer. There was no cancer. They performed new blood work that showed no presence of cancer anywhere. Later today, every test they could run confirmed that Kay has no trace of cancer anywhere in her body. This is the kind of news that makes you want to jump up and down screaming, “Thank you, Jesus!”

In the middle of our unbelievable rejoicing, a neighbor and close friend, Kathy, came over tonight to talk to Debbie. (Kathy is adamant that you spell her name correctly.) She has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Kathy is my age and had been perfectly healthy up until now. It was like someone hit us in the stomach. Debbie’s mother had MS and her sister-in-law is living with it now. So Deb helped explain that it is possible to have many meaningful years with the disease.

A few weeks ago, my favorite Bible teacher, Mike Williams, talked about how God does not judge us based upon our works and we should not judge him based upon his works. To me, this is more than a profound statement. Under the old Christianity, our reaction would be to be happy with God for Kay's healing, but to question God when disease or misfortune come our way. None of it ever seemed to make sense. But now, I have trusted Jesus completely for my salvation. I must trust him in other areas of life as well. I cannot explain what happened to Kay or Kathy. But I know God is good. I know God loves them equally.

So rejoice with Kay today. And remember Kathy in your prayers. Now maybe since I have gotten this off my mind, I can go to sleep.

Mad Props to Bishop Carlton Pearson

2008-01-26T16:00:00.000-05:00

I have never met Carlton Pearson. But for the last several years, I have followed his story very closely. I have a deep admiration for Bishop Pearson because he willingly gave up a promising political career, his megachurch, his influence in the Evangelical community, and I am sure, most of his money in an effort to bring Christianity into the Twenty-First Century. This is MY version of HIS story. There are probably some glaring mistakes because almost all of my information comes from the Internet and magazines like Christianity Today and Charisma.

Carlton Pearson was a superstar in the Pentecostal and Word of Faith movements. His Higher Dimensions Church had thousands of members. He was a Dove-Award winning recording artists and his worship music recordings were the model for many churches. His preaching/teaching was saturated with deep insights and thoughtful preparation. His church was integrated in a city where integration was not the norm. Carlton had very powerful influence, not just in his denomination, but throughout the Pentecostal movement worldwide.

Several years ago, Bishop Pearson had an epiphany while watching a television show about the immense suffering in Africa. He began to question God about why these people would be born into Hell on Earth and then be sent to an eternal Hell after their death. Carlton felt God speaking to him and his revelation of God’s nature and character began to change radically. And so did his theology.

In private, Bishop Pearson began researching the scriptures and came to the conclusion that Jesus’ accomplishment through his death, burial, resurrection, and ascension, far exceeded what Evangelical Christianity taught. Carlton began teaching what he called the “Gospel of Inclusion”, teaching that all men are saved, or will eventually be saved, through Jesus sacrifice.

It was at about this time, that Carlton Pearson was considering a run for mayor of Tulsa. Polls showed that he was a very popular choice across a wide demographic. Blacks, whites, evangelicals, liberals and conservatives all seemed to be very excited about making Pearson the mayor.

Here is where the story gets a bit murky. This paragraph is my opinion of what probably happened, based on accounts I have read and a few rumors I have heard. Before Carlton began going public with his message, he began sharing it with some of his friends in the ministry. It should be noted that Carlton’s friends in the ministry were not a few guys named Joe. Carlton Pearson ran with the big dogs. His Azusa meetings featured a “who’s who” of Pentecostal and Word of Faith ministers. He was a frequent guest speaker at some of the largest churches in America and the world. He was on the Board of Directors for Oral Roberts University. Carlton says that many of his ministry friends privately accepted, or at least did not initially reject, his new teaching. He felt that at least some of these powerful men would fall in behind him after he went public with the Gospel of Inclusion. He was wrong.

As Charisma Magazine and Christianity Today, began using the “H” word to describe Bishop Pearson (Heretic) his friends acted as if they had never heard his views and feigned shock at finding that Carlton had gotten off track theologically. Higher Dimensions Church attendance began to fall. Staff began to question the doctrine. Collections plunged. And the Christian world, smelling blood in the water, moved in for the kill. Pearson lost his empire. The church’s real estate was foreclosed upon. Still, he kept preaching the finished work of Jesus.

This is why I admire Bishop Pearson. Most of us who have embraced the new Gospel did not sacrifice our livelihood in the process. I lost a few friends and my relationship with my parents has suffered. But I was free to study and write about the Gospel in obscurity. In 2006, for about a month, I passionately defended Carlton at an Assemblies of God website called the blogrodent. (The posts are still up as of this date and can be found here: http://tatumweb.com/blog/about/wp-stats/?stats_author=Greg+Amburgy) But all of Christianity was not hanging on my every word and challenging my every thought. They were doing this to Bishop Pearson.

All of the Christian magazines denounced his doctrine as heretical. His denomination, the Church of God in Christ, took his credentials and dis-fellowshipped him. Oral Roberts University removed him from the board and Oral himself felt he had to denounce the Gospel of Inclusion. Pearson’s small congregation began meeting on Sunday afternoons in an Episcopal Church in Tulsa. I cannot imagine a more hostile environment to teach the Gospel of Inclusion than Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yet he continues to press forward.

Carlton Pearson has written two books, “God is Not a Christian” and “The Gospel of Inclusion.” He has become a go-to guy for liberal media people when the subject of Hell comes up. (I do not like these types of people and feel that they edited the interviews to promote their own agendas, rather than focus on Carlton’s.) But he is working in relative obscurity, compared with his former high profile. But the times, they are a changing!

In 2000, when I first began to seriously embrace the Gospel, there were very few people proclaiming this message. Gary Amirault’s Tentmaker site was one of the few places I could turn for information. But Carlton Pearson and men like Mike Williams have gained quite a foothold and the message is growing in acceptance.
I believe that before Carlton Pearson dies, he will again command tremendous respect from a wide range of Christianity. I see Evangelicalism as a dying form of Christianity that divides mankind and will not survive well into the Twenty-First Century. A God that eternally burns and tortures his own creation in Hell is not a God that is to be worshipped, but a God that must be repudiated. After all, we are to strive to follow after and emulate Jesus. I am following the Jesus Carlton preaches.

Someday, I hope to meet Bishop Pearson. Until then, I will continue to follow his story. It is a story of hope. In the end, it will be a story of redemption.

Greg Comes Out of the Closet

2008-01-25T20:08:00.000-05:00

I have a pair of Georgio Brutini loafers. In 1997, after my band lost our record deal, I played piano in the pit band at LaComedia Dinner Theater for three months. I was unsuccessfully hit upon by once-famous televangelist John Wesley Fletcher in the TBN studio sometime around 1982. And that about sums up my gay experience. I had several friends over the years who were gay. Most of them felt they had to pretend not to be gay in order to get me to like them. I feel terrible about that.

So today, right here on my blog, I wish to step out of the closet and proclaim that there are several gay men that I like, and a few gay women. And I ask them to forgive me for waiting this long to pubicly announce my support. The following is a list of people I have encountered over the years who I did not understand and did not try hard enough to understand.

Larry C., Larry T., Darryl S. (It is not as funny as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, but I only knew one gay Darryl.), Darryl's partner, Wendell D., Kevin S., Katie R. and Karen, Ron I., Brian G., most of the guys at LaComedia, Diane C., Deana F., the Lesbians in the choir (You know who you are.), the MCA A&R rep, Tom S., and that Kid at Kings High School, the only male in the drill team sometime around 2004. This list is incomplete but I wish I had every one of these encounters to do all over again. It is amazing to me the talent and creative ability this list encompasses. There are world-class musicians, artists, dancers, medical professionals, actors, photographers, and business people on this very short list. And of course, there are a couple of regular, average, everyday people on the list as well.

And my biggest blockbuster confession is that my favorite Bible teacher in all the world is Mike Williams. Mike taught me more about the Gospel than any other person on earth. And Mike is gay. So if my ragging on televangelists does not get me completely excommunicated from the evangelical community, my love for Mike's teaching surely will. I highly recommend Mike's website. Click on the Gospel Revolution or the Glenn Klein Online links above to hear some very insightful teaching. Mike and Glenn (a crazy, non-gay Jewish dude) host the Gospel Revolution webcast each Wednesday evening at 9:00 pm.

(I am shown above at my failed audition for the part of Lt. Jim Dangle on Reno 911. That is Carlos Alazraqui with me. Carlos plays the part of Deputy Garcia on the show. Thomas Lennon only got the part because he has better legs than I do.)

CBS Announces Survivor Tulsa

2008-01-25T10:40:00.001-05:00

In an effort to bolster sagging ratings, CBS’ Survivor is currently assembling the greatest cast of megalomaniacs in history. American televangelists will compete in a prime time, no-holds-barred game of politics, backstabbing, alliance building, and manipulation. He that endureth to the end will be awarded with reality TV’s biggest prize ever. Since most of these people are already millionaires, the prize money has been raised to One Hundred Million Dollars! CBS is not worried. This show promises better ratings than the Super Bowl.

CBS is retiring the worn out theme of scantily clad contestants running around on a remote island. Instead, the contestants will wear Giorgio Armani suits and will compete in Christianity’s little island of insanity, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The game will remain the same, with players competing in teams and individual competitions with the winners being awarded “salvation” instead of the usual prize of immunity. Instead of being voted off the island, one minister will be “excommunicated” each week. Tribal Council has been replaced by the Nicene Council. Once each week, those without “salvation” have to defend themselves at the Nicene Council as not being a heretic. The players vote and the minister with the most votes is excommunicated.

The cast is the most famous Survivor cast ever assembled. It includes:

Kenneth and Gloria Copeland (I predict an alliance.)
Benny Hinn
Creflo and Taffi Dollar
Joyce Meyer
Mike Murdock
Richard Roberts
Randy and Paula White (Yes, we know they are divorced.)
Ernest Angely
Robert Tilton
Rod Parsley
Ted Haggard
Pat Robertson
Bishop Thomas Weeks and Juanita Bynum (Currently involved in nasty divorce.)
Jimmy Swaggart

In the opening show, contestants are bussed to the campus of Oral Roberts University and left with nothing but a bullhorn and a Bible. They have just four hours to develop a following of people willing to provide them with food, shelter, and tithe money. The minister invited to stay at the nicest house wins salvation for week one. You might think Richard Roberts has an advantage here, since he was the President of ORU until recently. But because everyone knows Richard personally, he is actually at a huge disadvantage. Las Vegas odds-makers have installed Richard as the early favorite to become the first one excommunicated. This may have something to do with the fact that Richard is a tool.

Some of the competitions will focus on the contestant’s weaknesses. In Week Two, the ministers will be asked to go to a local hospital and perform an actual healing that can be verified by impartial doctors. (The City of Faith Hospital does not count, seeing it is just a big, empty shell, serving as the ultimate symbol of what televangelists are really all about.)

Week Three shows the players at their best as the competition centers around raising money. An impartial crowd will gather in the Mabee Center at ORU. Each minister gets five minutes to make an appeal for money. They are allowed to promise anything in return to the givers. The evangelist with the largest offering wins salvation for the week.

Week Four promises to be the highest rated television show in history. The ministers are taken to the First Baptist Church of Tulsa where they must compete in a highly hostile environment. Each contestant much preach for one half hour without saying something considered heretical by the congregation. There is a great chance that no one will earn “salvation” this week and everyone will be eligible for excommunication.

Week Five promises to be an intellectual free-for-all. On the campus of Tulsa University, the contestants will compete before a panel of philosophy professors for the best example of circular reasoning. For instance, the minister might say, “I have the power to heal you. Therefore, if I pray for you and you remain sick, it must be your fault you did not get healed.” Every one of the contestants has mastered this skill so the competition will be fierce. Of course, any minister actually taking part of the blame for unfulfilled promises will be automatically disqualified.

Survivor producers plan some twists to the competition, including an appearance by the likable Survivor contestant Rupert Boneham and Season One winner, Richard Hatch. Rupert works as a mentor for troubled teens. Each contestant will try to justify himself by his works to Rupert. Rupert will award salvation to the minister who has done the most actual good works through his ministry. Richard Hatch, a homosexual, will be subjected to five minutes with each contestant as they attempt to win salvation by changing Richard’s sexual orientation. Should all the ministers fail, the likely scenario, a second competition will be held to see who can get Richard to “render unto Caesar” and pay his back-taxes.

Televangelist Competition Begins Today!

2008-01-25T08:04:00.000-05:00

I have a prediction. And unlike Pat Robertson, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, and others, if my prediction does not come true, I agree to never make an outrageous prediction again. In fact, if my prediction does not come true, I will agree to the punishment imposed upon REAL prophets. You may take me out and stone me to death!

I predict with 100% certainty that the next couple of months are going to see the most egregious and outrageous attempts EVER by the television ministers to separate viewers from their government rebate checks. Combined with tax refunds, April just might be the biggest influx of extra cash on hand in American history. And I would bet my life that most of the big ministries are having strategy sessions right now to come up with just the right gimmick to get that money.

We are going to catch them in the act. I am encouraging every reader to begin recording as many Charlatans as possible. The best gimmicks can be placed on YouTube and I will put links on the blog so everyone can watch. We will award winners in the following categories:

Best Subtle Plea (without actually mentioning the government rebate)
Best Blatant Plea (Benny is even money in early betting.)
Best Offer In Return of Healing, 100-Fold Return, etc. (Probably Copeland)
Best Fake Word from the Lord (You have to go with Pat Robertson here.)
Best “Miracle” Event Held in April (My money is on Rod Parsley)
Best New Project to Complete with Rebate Money (Paul and Jan are the early favorites.)
Best Appeal to the Stupid (Something like, “God told me that someone out there is getting unexpected money in the mail”. This appeal is for people who never watch the news.)
Best Appeal to the Elderly (This category has been owned by Robert Tilton for twenty years. Nobody gets little old ladies to send Social Security money better than Tilton.)

And the Ananias and Sapphira Grand Prize goes to the televangelist who makes such an outrageous statement that anyone with a brain can tell that he or she no longer believes in God. (Again, you have to go with Tilton as the front-runner here.) Remember that Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead for lying about money.

Of course, Creflo, Murdock, and Paula White are expected to come up with some great ideas and could pull off upsets. And everyone is going to be trying to get pledges early, before the competition heats up.

So set those recorders. Your kids can help you transfer the video and set you up on YouTube. It is free. And if you do this today, I promise you that you will be blessed beyond anything you could ask or think. But I could be wrong.

Bush Leaves Legacy of Orwellianism

2008-01-24T06:33:00.000-05:00

"Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent . . . the greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding."
Olmstead vs. United States,
United States Supreme Court, 1928
Justice Louis Brandeis

Since the founding of the United States, government officials have been seeking to get around that darn Bill of Rights. "Think how much good we could do, how much crime we could eliminate, how much tax money we could generate, if only we were allowed to spy on regular citizens without search warrants and court approval." "We don't want to by-pass the Constitution for regular citizens, just for criminals."

On September 11, 2001, a group of towel-heads caught us with our pants down and pulled off a brilliantly conceived plan, shocking our nation. Less than 3,000 deaths made us so afraid that we decided to disregard the sacrifice of millions of military men who died to protect our freedom. Congress and the Bush Administration saw an opening and they charged through it, blasting a hole in our Bill of Rights that will never be repaired. They rammed the Patriot Act through the legislative process in record time.

I am sure the Patriot Act has helped stop a few terrorists. But the Patriot Act has accomplished what Osama Bin Laden never could have. It has poured a truckload of K Y Jelly on the slippery slope. The first "terrorist" caught using Patriot Act shortcuts was Las Vegas strip club owner Michael Gilardi. Then they caught a few kiddie porn distributors. Surely no one could argue that the Patriot Act should not be used to shut down this evil. The precedent was set. If the Feds use the Patriot Act to bypass the fourth amendment and they find evidence of a crime, then they are going forward with prosecution and the courts are going to support them.

9-11 was a blip on the radar screen. Yes, it was horrible. But in the end, Bin Laden may have accomplished more destruction than knocking down a few buildings. He succeded in giving the government what it has wanted for over 200 years, a way around the constitution.

Note to Readers: I voted for George Bush twice. I also worked very hard in the 1980's and 1990's to help elect conservative legislators. Sorry 'bout that! Only voting for protectors of liberty from now on. Sorry Democrats.

My New Worship Song, 1st Draft

2008-01-24T06:17:00.000-05:00

Have you ever noticed that all Christian worship music only covers the warm and fuzzy aspects of Evangelical Christianity? They sing about love, grace, forgiveness, peace, joy, and eternal bliss in Heaven. But after someone “accepts Christ”, the church sends them to special classes to learn about the other stuff. So I decided to write a little song about all the stuff that never gets sung about. It needs some work, but this is the first draft. Feel free to send me ideas to improve it.

Verse 1:
You accepted Jesus as your saviour
For every bad thing you did up till now
But now you have to keep track of your misdeeds
And confess them, while your sins you disavow

Verse 2:
You may or may not make it into Heaven
You just might be forgiven by his grace
You may or may not need to do good works to make it in
But do lots of good stuff anyway, so you’re covered just in case

Chorus:
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and support
And while you’re doing this, you need to pray without ceasing
And stay ready for the rapture; remember time is short
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and your vote
And while you’re doing this, please place a sign in your yard
Election time is soon; there are Republicans to promote

Verse 3:
Do good to those who do bad things against you
You must love those who may not treat you well
Jesus said that we must love our enemies
While God gets to burn all his in Hell

Chorus:
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and support
And while you’re doing this, you need to pray without ceasing
And stay ready for the rapture; remember time is short
We need your tithes; We need your offerings
We need your talents, time, commitment, and your vote
And while you’re doing this, please place a sign in your yard
Election time is soon; there are Republicans to promote

Misquoting the Bible

2008-01-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

Over the last twenty-five years, I have had many occasions where a passage from the Bible jumped out at me and altered my thinking. These experiences usually make me laugh or are accompanied by great joy and I feel like I have to call my friend Tom, and share the newfound gem. But recently, I experienced one of these moments and it made me very angry. I became enraged that the verse had been so often misquoted that the true meaning was hidden. It is one thing to take a verse out of context and develop a doctrine out of it. That has been going on almost since the beginning of Christianity. But it is quite another to change the words in such a way as to hide their true meaning.

Recently, I heard someone say a Bible verse and they misquoted it. So I got out my Bible and tried to look it up. The verse is one that has always been popular in fundamentalist/evangelical circles.

“Where sin doth abound, grace doth much more abound.”

Turning to Romans 5:20, I read the verse from the Bible. It said,

“But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.”

I thought that the past tense version I found in Romans 5:20 had to be a similar verse. But there surely was a present tense verse somewhere in the Bible. After all, I had heard the present tense version quoted hundreds of times in my life. A search of my Strong’s Concordance turned up nothing. I spent almost an hour trying to find the present tense version of the verse in my Bible. I tried different versions. I tried the internet.

I found a sermon by Charles Spurgeon with the present tense words. (I think he might have been the first to popularize this quote.) I found this “Bible verse” in the present tense, quoted hundreds of times on hundreds of websites. At this point, I began to shake my head in disbelief. The verse in the present tense does not exist. But it makes a nice sounding quote when making an altar call.

Top 13 Reasons America is Cool

2008-01-20T08:31:00.000-05:00

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Amendment XIII
Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment XV
Section 1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.
Section 2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment XIX
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

My Little Kids are Becoming Adults

2008-01-17T17:22:00.000-05:00

This photo was taken in 1998 at Disney World. It cannot possibly be ten years since we took this trip. Since then, my hair has turned gray but my wife has remained amazingly hot. The little girl next to me is now a pre-med biology major at the University of Cincinnati. That little boy is now 6' 2-3/4" tall. He is worried that growing another 1/4" will keep him from flying fighter jets. Adam gets good grades in high school, works 20 hours a week, plays guitar in a rock band, and is learning to fly airplanes. He is also in Civil Air Patrol, a military training program sponsored by the Air Force. And like his father, he is a babe magnet.

Debbie and I joke that our kids got all of our good genes and none of our bad ones. Both kids look like Debbie and they got her intelligence and athletic ability. Adam got my musical ability. Sarah got my math skills. And both kids got my fighting spirit. We did not have a third kid because that one was destined to be a genetic disaster.

The empty nest syndrome is hitting us pretty hard. Adam is rarely home and Sarah is away at school. We miss them so much. Last night, we went out to eat with some friends on a weeknight. We have not been able to do that for twenty years. This is just one more road in life’s journey.

Never Give Up!

2008-01-11T06:48:00.000-05:00

Last year was a tough one for many of my friends. One lost a spouse, two lost their health, and several had insurmountable financial difficulty. I called one of my closest friends the other day just to make sure he was not giving up. He was not. In fact, the way he continues to fight has inspired me and given me renewed courage to live every day as God's gift.

As a real estate appraiser, I am witnessing the mortgage meltdown firsthand. Ohio leads the nation in foreclosures and part of my job is to appraise homes for banks after the owner has been evicted. It used to be that most of these homes were trashed. You could tell that the people that lived here were probably not fit to own a home. But last year, I began to see a new phenomenon. Newly foreclosed homes would be ready to sell. Before being forced out, the previous owners had cleaned the homes thoroughly. There were no holes in the walls. No stains on the carpet. Yards were mowed. Leaves were raked. It was as if those losing their property were making one last apology to the bank by leaving their dream home in good condition.

Twice in the past few months, I have appraised foreclosed houses that qualified for FHA financing. (To qualify, a home must be structurally and mechanically sound in every way.) This was unheard of before! For the first time in our area, banks are now renting homes because there are so many foreclosures that they cannot sell them all.

My point is that a lot of people are struggling. I have very dear friends in their forties and fifties who are facing forced career changes. These were guys used to making a lot of money who now are having to reinvent themselves and develop new skills. I went through this a few years ago. At thirty-nine, I left the Vineyard church as music director, realizing that I had to change careers. Fortunately, I had a friend who trained me as a real estate appraiser. But my point is that I have been in the same position. It is lonely. It is frightening.

Liberation from organized religion might have created a void for some of you. Many of us experienced enough turmoil in church to push us out the door forever. But church did have one positive aspect: community. And when difficult times come, we all need community. For me, I have not missed church at all, mainly because I continue to strengthen relationships and renew old ones through the Internet. I am fortunate enough to have a few close friends that Debbie and I get together with regularly. I read a lot of blogs and send a lot of email. I even go to an Internet church every Wednesday night. (It is a very irreverent church.)

For those who feel alone in your struggle, I invite you to get in touch with me. Talk about it. Get a plan to recover. And most importantly, continue to fight. I have a friend who is delivering pizzas to make extra money. He probably thinks this is a bit demeaning, considering his past work history. But I think it is admirable on many levels. He is refusing to give up. He is digging himself out of the hole and he inspires me every day. My father started a little lawn care company and did quite well in his later years. I have always been proud of him for that.

So if you are at a low point right now, just thank God you live in America and get up every morning determined to continue to fight. You will make it. If you are being forced out of a good job, don't be afraid to drive a truck for a while. Or deliver pizzas. Or mow grass.

Keep fighting. And enjoy life. Life is good even when it is bad.

I Don't Heart Huckabee!

2008-01-05T08:55:00.000-05:00

My registration as a Republican voter is a relic from a time when the Grand Old Party stood for liberty, freedom, self-determination, lower taxes, less government, and respect for the constitution. I rarely vote Republican anymore. I only vote Democratic when the Republican is a lying, two-faced power-whore like Mike Dewine who needs to be sent packing. Though my parents were Democrats, I was a fire-breathing Republican from the time I turned 18. I volunteered to help Congressman Tom Kindness' campaign in 1980. Ronald Reagan got my first two votes for President, the only two I ever cast without holding my nose.

Which brings us to the woeful group of front runners in this year's Republican primary. Rudolph Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee have already said or done at least one thing that precludes my voting for them under any circumstances, even if it looks like Hillary is going to win. (It is important to remember that we never would have gotten Ronald Reagan if not for four dreadful years of Jimmy Carter.)

But as Duncan Hunter is excluded from the New Hampshire debate so that Fox News can appear "fair and balanced", I feel a special resentment in my heart for the only candidate that can be soundly beaten by Hillary Clinton: Mike Huckabee. One week before the election, Hillary's goons are going to drag out video of the Huckster saying we can take this nation back for Christ. There are hundreds of old sermons on cassette tapes in Arkansas basements just waiting to be discovered by the Clinton machine. Surely, Huckabee's dispensationalist doctrine will be aired for all the world to hear, including his Pat Robertson-style beliefs about the end of the world and Armageddon.

Call me crazy, but I think it is not a good thing for a man to have the power to start Armageddon when that man believes Armageddon is inevitable. That one small detail aside, there are still many reasons to fear a Huckabee presidency. Keep in mind that the legislative branch is controlled by what Ayn Rand would call "looters". So while they might oppose every sensible idea Huckabee might propose, they are certain to rubber stamp all of his bad ones, of which there are many.

Let's focus on Huckabee's call for a national ban on smoking. His flawed logic was on display this week when he said that if smoking were a new product, the FDA would never approve it. Therefore, it must be banned. The Huckster's irresponsible statement demonstrates that he cannot tell he is dumping lubrication on the slippery slope leading to a bottomland of Nanny-State Orwellianism.

Before we discuss the lost tax revenues and the prohibition-style black market that would emerge, let us consider what the Huckster's argument would also ban. Everything common in American life that would not be approved if it were introduced as new would now have the potential of being banned. So just simply think of everything some do-gooder has preached against in the past year. Here is a short list:

Motorcycles, alcohol (Didn't we already....?), football, butter, red meat (Oh heck, all meat!) sugar, fast food, guns, back-yard trampolines, gravy, biscuits, biscuits and gravy, caffeine, helmetless bike riding... and so on.

Everyone in America would live five miserable years longer in a nursing home, exacerbating the Ponzi scheme that is Social Security. The point all do-gooders seem to miss is that all of us are eventually going to die. And before some of us pass, we have a burning desire to actually LIVE. I do not want my obituary to say that I lived to be 109 years old. I want it to say that Greg Amburgy enjoyed life to its fullest and pursued life in a manner no crusading meddler would ever understand.

Smokers carry their weight by paying excessive taxes and taking less in Social Security benefits. So not only would Huckabee and the do-gooders eliminate all the taxes collected from smokers, they would inadvertently create a growth industry in the black market. Imagine the violence that would ensue when cigarette cartels began fighting for territory in the suburbs. If the war on drugs has proven anything, it is that where there is demand for something, a market will emerge to fill that demand. And there would be an insatiable demand for cigarettes. You think we are losing the war on drugs? Wait until the law enforcement tab kicks in for the war on cigarettes.

Billions of untaxed dollars would flow to organized crime. Tobacco sniffing dogs would patrol our neighborhoods. The fact that someone smelled smoke on you would become probable cause for a search of your house. That search would reveal the hidden basement freezer with your stash of illegal red meat. Your canisters of bleached flour, sugar, and coffee would be seized as evidence. The fact that you had more than an ounce of coffee would implicate you with intent to distribute.

I am simply taking Huckabee's thought to its logical conclusion. But this line of thinking, preposterous just ten years ago, is infecting all of America and especially our politicians. Where is the candidate who firmly announces that his presidency will be used to protect liberty and freedom? I want to find a candidate with a sound foreign policy, a sound energy policy, and a hands-off domestic policy.

Can you say Ron Paul?

Welcome to Bill's Church!

2007-12-09T10:07:00.000-05:00

I have decided to start a new church! I am sure you have been to some bad churches and you probably think mine will be more of the same. But "Bill's Church" (that is the actual name) will be different. My church will be based on honesty. And right up front, I will tell you that Bill's Church is here to meet the needs of me, the Senior Pastor, Bill Johnson.

I need validation. I need prestige. I need power. I need to be in the spotlight. I need to feel loved. I need money. And being the senior pastor of a mega church will fulfill all of those needs. But in order for me to get my needs met, I need a few thousand people to begin showing up on the weekend. That is where you come in.

Bill's Church wants to give you the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the area's newest mega church. Being a "Founding Partner" gives you a level of influence and access that is rarely granted those who come later, unless of course, they are rich. As part of our grand opening, Bill's Church is offering several charter membership plans. We have five levels of membership so you can choose the one that most fits your level of commitment and your budget.

Level Five- The Christmas and Easter Plan

This is for the casual member who needs to be able to tell his Christian friends he has a church home without the annoying obligation to actually get involved. A minimal bi-annual contribution is required.

What's In It For You? (WIIFY?) You get to pretend to be part of a vibrant church. Of course, all additional services such as weddings and funerals require an additional payment. And they will have to be held off site.

What's In It For US? (WIIFU?) We get to add your name to our over-inflated membership roles. This gives the appearance that our church is much larger than it actually is. This gives us more influence with politicians and the media. Or should we say, this gives Bill more influence with politicians and the media. And of course, it helps when seeking a publishing deal for Bill's books.

Level Four- The Regular Attender, Minimal Involvement Plan

This is for the member who needs the routine of regular Sunday services without the aggravation of additional commitment.

WIIFY? This plan is ideal for married couples with troubled teenagers. You can just drop them off at youth group and hope that somehow the hip youth pastor can undo all of your bad parenting. Of course, Bill's church makes no guarantees of the effectiveness of our hip, but overworked youth pastor. You are not expected to tithe at this level.

WIIFU? You are however, expected to feel guilty about not tithing. A healthy level of guilt will cause you to at least give something on a regular basis. And your regular attendance is crucial in giving Bill's Church the community prestige and influence so necessary to soothe Bill's ego.

Level Three- The Worker Bee Plan

This plan is perfect if you desire to have no life outside Bill's Church. We will train you and deploy you in as many jobs as you can possibly fit into your schedule. Then we will pile on the guilt to get you to do one or two more. Opportunities are only limited by your selfish desire to be with your spouse or children. Of course, tithing is mandatory. And at this level, you should be willing to kick in additional offerings when the need arises.

WIIFY? You save money on entertainment and other time-consuming activities. For instance, you cannot possibly go to a movie on Friday night, because you are leading a small group at your house. You get the satisfaction of being a low-level leader in the city's coolest mega church. You get to rub elbows with the mid-level staff members and occasionally talk to the music director. People know your name. God is very appreciative and therefore, less likely to eternally burn you in Hell. We will do your funeral free of charge and your daughter can be married by an associate pastor, on-site of course.

WIIFU? This is the foundation of our financial structure! We get twelve to fifteen percent of your gross income and more free labor than a Chinese sweat shop. Once you get put into our worker bee data base, we will call you any time Bill's Church has an emergency. Whenever Bill comes up with one of his grand schemes, you will be invited to a banquet where you will be plied with a badly catered meal and a high quality PowerPoint presentation.

Level Two- The Underpaid, Overworked Staff Member Plan

If you want to get to know Bill and all of his character flaws, you just might want to consider becoming a full-time staff member. You will be in regular meetings with associate pastors willing to dish the dirt about the church's inner circle.

WIIFY? This is a powerful resume-building experience. Being a full-time staff member at a successful mega church could one day lead to an associate pastor position. As an underpaid staff member, you may actually get to be seen on the big stage a couple of times each year. And you get to boss around the worker bees!

WIIFU? Of course, it goes without saying that Bill's Church gets a rebate of at least ten percent on the meager salary we pay you. And you are expected to smile and inspire the worker bees and make them think that if they take on one more task, they might become a full-time staff member just like you.

Level One- The Failed Corporate Executive Power Trip Plan

Were you once a promising corporate executive at a Fortune 500 company? At Bill's Church, we do not care about your past failures or disappointing career. If you got a golden parachute of at least one million dollars, you are eligible for our most prestigious membership plan. After all, Bill's Church is a business. And we need input from failed corporate executives like you so our business will run with the efficiency of a major corporate bureaucracy. You can help us establish management levels and appropriate under-compensation. And you get to be in on all the decision making whenever Bill does not feel like overriding your vote.

WIIFY? Power! You get to hang with Bill and his inner circle, meeting regularly at Starbucks. Bill will mention you in at least one sermon every six months. This lets the staff and church members know that you matter. And what a testimony you will have. This plan gives you the opportunity to explain why you were fired from the corporation you had given your life to. IT WAS GOD'S WILL. God wanted to humble you and bring you to your knees so you could become part of Bill's Church. You get almost unlimited power to boss around the staff, including the ability to influence the music choices and even the volume level of the band. You are perceived as Bill's friend!

WIIFU? Money! We don't really care about your business background. After all, General Electric paid you seven figures to go away. But six of those figures buys you everything mentioned above. And stacking our board with guys like you helps us when we go to the bank looking for a twenty-million-dollar mortgage loan. Over time, you and the worker bees will be expected to pay back the loan. As part of the compensation committee, you will be expected to keep Bill's pay in line with other top executives. After all, if Bill chose another occupation, he would probably be a highly successful leader. (Of course, we all know that if Bill were not the senior pastor of Bill's Church, he would probably be managing a payday loan outlet in a bad part of town. But you keep this thought to yourself.)

So we invite you to take advantage of one of our inaugural membership plans. Sign up today to get in on the ground floor of this exciting opportunity. And remember the Bill's Church motto:

It's all about Jesus....and Bill.

The Overzealous Youth Pastor

2007-12-08T17:24:00.001-05:00

Recently, I was forwarded an email from a very sincere and zealous youth pastor. It had been addressed to the kids in his youth group and was challenging them to "stop playing games" and to "become warriors" in the challenge of winning this generation to Christ. The subject line said, "It is time to stop being fake and to get real". The message was similar to something one might hear Paul Washer preach. (Washer is the young Southern Baptist preacher whose calling is to go around convincing teenagers they are not saved.)

There were several startling things in the email, but one in particular grabbed my attention. Apparently, at large youth meetings sponsored by the Church of God denomination, teens are being asked to come forward and pray for forgiveness for the ways their parents raised them. The implications in the email were obvious: If your parents are not on-fire for God, they are not good parents. And of course, they get to define "on-fire". And teenagers gravitate toward those who speak with authority. They have not yet lived long enough to see through facades.

The email brought back a lot of memories for me. I went to a church that had a large, and very strong youth group. We used to hold prayer meetings on Friday nights that lasted until midnight. Some people in the church became concerned that we were becoming too fanatical. So we moved the prayer meetings to a house. I remember some of those meetings. They were very intense. They were very much like the email. And I was one of those doing a lot of the talking.

Thirty years later, I look back on those times and wonder how my journey took me to my present place. I remember feeling all of the guilt because I talked a good game, but could not live up to the expectations. Normal teenage problems became magnified because we tended to spiritualize everything. For instance, one of my friends got drunk one night and called me. He was not at all worried about getting caught and punished by his parents. He was upset that he had angered God and was probably going to Hell.

In raising my kids, I tried to emphasize the importance of making good decisions and understanding that bad decisions have consequences. But I have never told my kids that making a bad decision pleases the devil and a good decision pleases God. The consequence of bad behavior IS the punishment. God is not hovering above you to add on additional "spiritual" chastisement.

The email contrasted joining a social club with being a soldier. The implication was that the social club was bad. But my experience tells me that the social club aspect of church youth groups is much more important than anything else a church offers. Kids need positive relationships. They need support. They need to laugh. They need friends. And teenagers are not ready to be soldiers anyway, whatever that means. There is enough pressure on teenagers without making them feel guilty about somehow letting God down.

I protected my kids vigorously from this kind of teaching. My mother asked me, and practically begged me for several years, to allow my kids to go to youth camps and winter festivals sponsored by the Church of God. She meant well, but I remember my own experiences and wanted to save my kids from the abuse. Of course, I am not talking about physical or sexual abuse. I am talking about the manipulation of a young mind. There is something very intimidating about a minister speaking with authority from a stage. I never allowed my kids to be exposed to the idea that they were going to Hell or were going to somehow be left behind when the rapture occurred.

So what do kids need? They need love, attention, security, and a stable home. Kids need a strong family. They need a good education. They need to be taught right from wrong. They need boundaries and rules. They sometimes need their parents to step in and forbid them from getting with the wrong crowd. Sometimes, they just need a soft spanking or fifteen minutes in the "time out" chair. They need activities that build their self confidence and character. And they need food. Lots of food!

But kids do not need to be enlisted as soldiers in a war that cannot be won. They should not be taught that taking drugs alienates them from God and the church. They need to be taught that taking drugs can ruin their bodies and minds. The motivation for sexual abstinence should not be that it somehow pleases God, but that abstinence is in THEIR best interest! Teenagers are selfish little beings. Knowing this little fact puts a parent at a huge advantage.

I am proud of my kids. One is a pre-med major in college and the other one is trying to become a fighter pilot in the air force. There have been some bumps along the road, including one little run-in with law enforcement and a few uncomfortable trips to the principal's office. But I would not change anything about my kids. And I would never allow them to feel guilty about their youth group being a social club.

A Few Words on Hell

2007-11-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

I once was asked to sing a few songs at the funeral of a man I did not know. Apparently, he was not a believer. The pastor of the little church got up and preached for twenty minutes about how this man was in hell and probably screaming as the fire tortured him. I will never forget the agony of that funeral. There was no hope given. Several people walked out. Those who remained were groaning and crying uncontrollably. I was asked to play soft music on the piano as the preacher, a manipulative jerk, tried to get the family to come to the alter and get saved. I felt terrible, having played a part in this tragedy. That day was one of the pivotal points in my journey out of classic Pentecostalism.

I have lost all interest in debating the subject of hell with my evangelical friends. This used to be one of my favorite subjects. But at some point, I just realized that anyone who does not at least question the evangelical version of hell is not being intellectually honest. And they are ignoring obvious logical and theological inconsistencies. So why waste the energy.

I believe that the evangelical concept of hell is a creation of third century Catholicism and was significantly enhanced by people like Dante and Jonathan Edwards. The dark, eternal abyss, burning with fire and brimstone, that tortures, but does not consume its victims is a hideous myth perpetrated by the Catholic Church to keep the masses in line. And it is time for evangelicals to come, kicking and screaming, into the twenty-first century. I find it funny that evangelicals pride themselves on having thrown off all Catholic tradition. But this most Catholic of all traditions is held onto so tightly. I think they feel the need to manipulate their congregations with this craziness.

First, let me address how I think we got here. Bible translators, especially those creating the Latin Vulgate translation, combined several separate and distinct concepts into one. The words Hades, Gehenna, Sheol, and Tartarus were all translated as one word, the English Hell. These words mean different things and are sometimes translated into totally different words, where the context could not possibly mean hell. But by combining all these words into one, we created the concept of hell that is still taught in most evangelical churches and denominations. For an excellent breakdown of all this information, I suggest clicking on the link above titled, "What the Hell is Hell?". The chart of words translated "hell" is an eye-opener if you will examine it with an open mind.

Let's examine the obvious question. All evangelical denominations have in their statements of faith a belief in an eternal hell without the possibility of annihilation or liberation. Yet no one preaches it anymore. Why? I think it is because those who have examined this doctrine do not believe it anymore. Yet the one thing evangelicals fear over all else is being called a heretic. So they go along with the crowd, never actually preaching on hell, but never denying the horrendous implications of its existence. The most obvious implication is that God comes off looking worse than Hitler or Stalin.

Let's examine the eternal aspect of hell for a moment. This comes from a sad misinterpretation of Mark 9:43-50. First, it says that the fire is eternal and is not quenched. It does not say that a man lives on in a state of eternal punishment in the fire. Second, and most importantly, Jesus is speaking of Gehenna, or the Valley of Hinon, where a continuous fire burned and served as Jerusalem's garbage pit. Those he was speaking to understood the word Gehenna as that physical place near Jerusalem.

And most importantly, Christians need to examine their adoration of a God who would create the world from nothing and come up with a system whereby most of humanity ends up in unspeakable horror and torture for millions of years. I think even the hardest of humans would give Hitler a break after a period of watching him suffer in the fire. The evangelical god comes off looking like the crazed husband who tells his wife that he loves her so much he will have to kill her if she rejects him. I wholeheartedly and absolutely reject such a concept of god. I would not worship such a god.

And if evangelicals are going to take Mark 9 literally, they absolutely must teach their people to literally cut off body parts and pluck out their eyes to avoid ending up in hell. I know of a man who emasculated himself after taking these verses literally. A few weeks later, he committed suicide. There is no Christian pastor anywhere who teaches this literally.

Then there is the inconsistency of physical torture of a spiritual body. The physical body is able to feel pain. But the physical body dies. So we are to believe that God miraculously provides the unrighteous dead with an eternal body that is able to feel burning pain without being consumed. Once again, we have to reject this brutal, sadistic god.

Then there is the inconvenient fact that Judaism has no tradition of hell like Christianity. Are we to believe that God revealed his plan to Moses and the prophets and left out this most important of facts about the afterlife?

I have spent hundreds of hours studying this subject. I challenge all Christians to do the same. Read Jonathan Edwards horrendous sermon titled "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God". Read what he said about "reprobate infants" being held over the flames of God's wrath. It paints God in the most hideous light any Calvinist could ever dream up. The sermon can be found here:

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/edwards/sermons.sinners.html

Read Dante's Inferno. I believe Edwards and Dante had much more influence on our concept of hell than anything the Bible ever said about it. This is a doctrine that must be purged from Christianity. It is wrong. It is sadistic. And it is giving God an undeserved bad reputation.

Empowering Islamic Women

2007-11-24T09:38:00.000-05:00

The most glaring example of media bias can be seen in the lack of attention given to abuses of women in the Islamic world. There are literally thousands of horrible examples every year. With the exception of the Internet, these stories are rarely heard. I wonder why. With all the mainstream media outlets heavily staffed by educated and liberated women, why do these abuses go unreported. Except for terrorism, the abuse of Muslim women is the number one reason to strongly oppose Islam at every turn.

Last week, we finally heard the story of the Saudi woman who was kidnapped and brutally raped by seven men. She was given 200 lashes for going out in public unaccompanied by a male family member! The only reason this story made it to the western press was that there were appeals to high courts in Saudi Arabia and even some Muslim men became outraged. (On a side note, I find it strange that it takes this level of abuse to outrage a few Muslim men, but cartoons in a Danish newspaper can turn the whole Islamic world into a riotous mob.)

The fact is that women in the Muslim world are completely subject to their fathers and later, their husbands. They have no self-determination at all. Their husbands are permitted to beat them into submission. They are not allowed to leave their homes without male supervision. They have no part in the political process. In short, they are treated much like women were treated 1,000 years ago.

Theo Van Gogh, a Dutch film maker, produced a documentary film entitled, "Submission". It chronicled the abuses of Muslim women in Europe. Even in the most liberal part of the world, these women were subjected to brutality and lifelong incarceration by their husbands. For exposing this, Van Gogh was brutally executed on a busy street by a Muslim man. A letter was attached to his body predicting chaos in America, Europe, and Holland.

And Muslim men carry these attitudes toward women with them to the United States. My wife had a business deal with a Muslim man a couple of years ago. He refused to shake her hand and would barely speak directly to her. He was offended that, in order to complete the deal, he had to treat a woman as his equal.

A few of the more modern Islamic countries allow women a basic education and the best and brightest are allowed to pursue higher education at university. But for the most part, women are property. They have no opportunity to choose a career or, in many cases, to choose their own husband. And women who speak out or push for reform are not simply shouted down or prohibited from speaking. They are frequently murdered.

Halima Ahmed Hussein al-Juburi was a proponent of women's rights in Iraq. Ten men broke into her home and shot her in front of her three children. This is just one of many examples of women murdered for simply pushing for mild reforms in Islamic law and custom.

If George Bush and future presidents want to have an impact on the Islamic world, they would be best served to support the rights of women and their inclusion in the political process. (Not that kingdoms and brutal dictatorships have much of a political process) And Bush's family is quite friendly with the Saudi Royal Family, one of the worst of the offenders. Surely he has some influence with these tyrants.

Women balance men. They encourage talking when men only think about fighting. Something tells me that women could have a profound influence in the Israel-Palestine conflict. For fifty years, Israel has been making concessions to the Palestinians, hoping for peace. But the Palestinians have yet to make one genuine gesture or keep one peace treaty. Why? Israeli women are an influential part of the political process. Palestinian women are not. Enough said.

If you doubt the extent of the problem, please click on the link above entitled "Muslim Questions and Answers". It is a web site created by Muslim theologians to answer questions on Islamic law for Muslims. Just peruse a few rulings on women.

The End of the World?

2007-11-21T13:43:00.000-05:00

I grew up believing the end of the world was imminent. We were taught that Jesus was about to return at any moment to catch away faithful believers. This was to be followed by a seven year period of great tribulation where in order to be saved, one would most likely have to give his life.

This doctrine was preached with such fervency and with such authority that anyone who questioned it was simply regarded as foolish. I did not question it. And our denomination strongly taught a bizarre mixture of salvation by grace heavily mixed with works. So while we all acted like we knew we were saved, most of us kids had periods where we just knew we were not. For me, this resulted in a lot of turmoil and despair.

One of my first childhood memories happened in the Sears store at the Tri-County Mall. I was about six years old. I got separated from my mother while she was shopping in the racks of dresses. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she had been raptured and I had been left behind. I began crying and desperately ran through the store hoping against hope that my mother was still there. When I found her, I did not run to her and hug her. I did not want her to know that I was worried about being left behind. Over the years, this scenario played out several more times. I remember calling people on the phone who I knew would be raptured, just to make sure they were still on earth.

To the uninitiated, this seems truly ludicrous, even abusive. But it remains a foundational doctrine for most Pentecostals, Charismatics, and Baptists. The Left Behind book series is one of the top selling series of all time. Christians encourage their children and young teenagers to read these fictional accounts based on what the authors consider Biblical predictions of the future.

Men like John Hagee and Hal Lindsay wield powerful influence among conservative politicians in promoting support for Israel based on this doctrine. I consider myself a supporter of Israel but this support has nothing to do with Biblical prophecy. Israel is a bright light of democracy and women's rights in the dark world of Islam. Israel certainly has its problems, but it is far superior to the kingdoms and dictatorships prevalent in the region.

On the Glenn Beck show, Hagee recently said that we have less than twenty years until all this comes about. In the seventies and eighties, they were telling us we had less time than that. Hal Lindsay wrote a ridiculous book entitled, "The 1980's- Countdown to Armageddon". Why do gullible Christians still buy his books and listen to his wacko theories. (Isn't he on wife number four? That usually disqualifies one for ministry in Baptist and Pentecostal denominations.)

I think that "end times" teaching does irreparable harm to young people who grow up with this madness. There is no reason to apply themselves in education or to save money. The rapture teachers have been wrong since 1948 and they are getting more bold and more dogmatic with their claims.

I have many friends and family who strongly hold these beliefs. My intent is not to belittle them or to cause them to lose faith. My hope is that Christians begin to realize the harm this teaching brings to young people. Little kids should NEVER be exposed to the thought that their mother might be taken from them, leaving them alone during a period of hell on earth. And teenagers need to have this doctrine tempered with encouragement to live their lives as if they were actually going to get to live their lives. (That sounds crazy doesn't it?)

Life is too short to waste a moment of it worrying about the end of the world. I think most religions, but especially Islam and Christianity, are too preoccupied with afterlife to appreciate the awesome wonder of the time we have now. If this post has upset you or peaked your curiosity, I suggest you go to the Tentmaker link above and check out the studies available on the words translated "world" in the modern Bibles. It might give you some comfort.

Unto him be glory in the Church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, WORLD WITHOUT END. Amen. (Ephesians 3:21)

Appraising the Brewski

2007-11-20T17:04:00.000-05:00

I know nothing about wine. Several years ago, we were dining at a fine restaurant with a couple of friends. Leo ordered a glass of expensive wine. When it came, he took a sip and politely informed the waiter that this was not the wine he ordered. He guessed it was from the same winery but was from a different year. To my utter amazement, the owner of the restaurant came out and apologized. He gave Leo a complimentary bottle of the wine he ordered and said that someone had opened a bottle from the previous year by mistake. Needless to say, I was impressed.

But when it comes to fine beer, I am somewhat of an expert. I do not drink Budweiser or Strohs. After all, Leo does not drink Boones Farm! But I do try to find good brews and recommend them to friends. And three of my favorites are brewed right here in America, and two of them are from Ohio. I like nearly everything that the Sam Adams people produce, but the Boston Lager is my favorite. It is my favorite beer that you can get anywhere. But my top two beers in the world are not available everywhere.

The Great Lakes Brewing Company, in Cleveland, makes an ale that is to die for. It is called Burning River, named after the infamous incident where the Cuyahoga River caught fire. (Yes, a river caught fire. And this was when Dennis Kucinich was mayor!) I appreciate their willingness to laugh at themselves. And I also appreciate the assertive, citrusy hops flavor. This stuff absolutely rocks! And just a side note: How did Dennis Kucinich get such a hot wife. There is no possible rational explanation for that. But people say that about me too, I guess.

Anyway, my top brew anywhere in the world is brewed right here in Cincinnati. It is made by a young entrepreneur named Mike Dewey and his wife Kathleen. I met them when doing a consulting job because Clermont County was trying to take some of their land by eminent domain. I wrote a scathing report and Mike's lawyer skillfully used it to stop the proceeding. At that time, they were making beer in their basement. But things have progressed over the last few years. They own the Mount Carmel Brewing Company and their Copper Ale is my absolute favorite.

I was pleasantly surprised when the Cincinnati Reds began to sell the Mount Carmel Copper Ale at Great American Ballpark. This brew makes sitting through Reds games tolerable, even in the late innings when no lead is safe. Dewey has created one heck of a robust ale. This is why God created hops! It is only available in growlers and kegs. But you are in for a treat if you make the effort to acquire a Mount Carmel Copper Ale.

Bottoms up!

Rounding Third....

2007-11-16T09:22:00.000-05:00

Joe Nuxhall passed away last night. And upon hearing the news, a bit of me passed away too. Joe had been broadcasting Reds games since 1968, when I was seven years old. I remember listening to Dodgers games late at night with my earpiece in the transistor radio. I remember the long pauses, the folksy humor, and the genuine love for the game of baseball.

Joe was from Hamilton, but lived in my hometown of Fairfield when I was growing up. It was always exciting to run into him around town. He owned one of the first batting cages in the area, at Joyce Park in Fairfield. I got to work there a little bit collecting balls. Joe was Hamilton's greatest ambassador and one of the few people in the world that everyone seemed to genuinely like.

In 1996, my band was in Lakeland, Florida, to do a concert right next to the Tigers Spring Training field. After our sound check, we wanted to go see the Reds play the Tigers but we did not have a lot of extra money. So I told the guys I could get us in free of charge. We drove the tour bus over to the front gate. At this point, I really had no plan.

We were supposed to play a concert after a Reds game later in the summer. So I walked up the gate and asked to speak to the ticket manager. I said, "We are Frazier River and we are supposed to do a promo for a concert with Marty and Joe up in the Reds booth. The guy believed me and just opened up the gate and let us inside. But then, he asked one of the ushers to escort us up to the Reds broadcast booth.

Chuck Adair, our guitar player, said, "Greg, I think you are supposed to do that promo by yourself." I was hung out to dry. The usher escorted the band to some good seats down by the Reds dugout. The band was all laughing because they knew I was in trouble. The usher took me up several flights of stairs toward Marty and Joe. I was sweating bullets.

Dave "The Yid Man" Armbruster was outside the Reds booth. I introduced myself as Greg Amburgy from The Frazier River Band. To my utter shock and amazement, Dave said, "That is great. We are doing a promo for your concert during the next inning. Could you go in and do it live with Marty and Joe?" I simply said, "That's what I'm here for."

They took me into the broadcast booth and introduced me to Marty and Joe. I was standing behind them. The guys in the band could see me from their seats. I held up two fists in the air as if to say, "No guts, no glory". I got to stay in there for two innings just talking about the band and growing up a Reds fan in Fairfield. My mother in law, who was very sick at the time, heard me on the air and could not believe it. She was a die-hard Reds fan her whole life. She could not believe she was hearing get-well wishes from Marty and Joe on WLW.

It was one of the most fun hours of my entire life. Joe was so gracious and unassuming. A few months ago, I got to hear Joe and Thom Brennamann call one last game. I sat at my desk and soaked it all in, thinking that I may not get to hear Joe do this very many more times. It turned out to be the last game I heard Joe call.

Joe Nuxhall will be missed by those who knew him well and those of us that only had a few brushes with him. He was Reds baseball. He was Hamilton. He will always be the Old Left Hander, Rounding Third and Heading for Home. God bless Joe.

Low Maintenance Friends

2007-11-11T13:30:00.000-05:00

I am lazy. I don't mind working hard in my company. But after work is done, I like life to be easy and carefree. My relationship with my wife can best be described as "easy". We don't just love each other. We like each other. We enjoy being together. We rarely fight. I still get excited when she comes home. I think it is that way for her. In our twenty years together, we have had rough spots. We even went to counseling. But we worked out the problems and living together returned to being easy. I would not want to be in a marriage that required constant work. Life is too short.

I feel the same way about friendships. Deb and I have been blessed with some awesome friends. We have friends that would do anything for us. And we would do anything for them. But the best part of the friendship is that we rarely have to do anything for each other. We are low-maintenance friends. Our friends understand boundaries. They never get offended. They love us just the way we are. It is easy hanging out with them. We never feel a need to try to get them to like us. They like us and we like them. It's easy.

We frequently go on vacation with a couple of our low-maintenance friends. Some of our best times have been spent with them. We have a deep, loving bond with them. I cannot think of a scenario where we will not be friends until we die.

Lately, I have been especially thankful for my friends. Many people go through life never having relationships as rich as those I enjoy. As we get older, our friendships begin to provide support and security that we once felt from our parents. One of the reasons my life is so good is because of my awesome friends. They make me laugh. They give good advice. They share some of my best memories.

I have been blessed with two low-maintenance kids and a low-maintenance dog. But today, I am very happy to have some low-maintenance friends. I hope they feel the same way.

(Tom and Renee, two of our best friends, are pictured above with Sarah at her graduation.)

Grassley Inquiry

2007-11-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

My heart leapt upon hearing that the Senate was looking into violations of IRS rules by prominent televangelists. My Libertarian voice whispered a note of caution about government intrusion into religion. But my former evangelical voice, now freed from the tyranny of guilt-based manipulation, shouted a Pentecostal-style Hallelujah! Grassley is looking into the finances of Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, and Paula White, among others.

To understand my point of view, you must know a bit of my personal history. Twenty-five years ago, I was the pianist for Nancy Harmon. Nancy had a regular television show on TBN. (That's me pictured above on the TBN set around 1982.) I played and sang on TBN and PTL and accompanied many of the top Christian artists during the 1980's. I have nothing bad to say about Nancy Harmon. She was sincere, honest, and a genuinely caring person. And she is one heck of a Hammond Organist! But one of Nancy's best friends was the ultra-smarmy Mike Murdock. Being in Nancy's band, I was exposed to toxic levels of this swindler. My only disappointment with the Grassley Investigation is that Murdock was left off the list. Steve Brock, one of Benny Hinn's regular singers, used to be my pastor. I traveled around with him as a teenager, playing in revivals and camp meetings. One of my relatives was on Kenneth Copeland's board of directors for many years.

Senator Grassley is looking into the lavish lifestyles of these "ministers", financed by tax-exempt contributions. The "ministry" typically owns everything one needs to live the life of a multi-millionaire: beachfront homes, Texas ranches, Manhattan condos, private jets, and other trappings. The "ministry" pays for the maintenance and upkeep while the "minister" is the sole user of these things. All this is done tax-free! The board of directors rubber stamps all expenditures and the "minister" gets to live like a king. Technically, they do not own the homes and jets. But they have absolute control and usage of these things.

The aptly named Creflo Dollar, one of those under investigation, made the most outrageous statement I have heard from the accused so far. He questioned whether the investigation could "affect the privacy of every community church in America". The answer is a resounding no! The tax exempt status of churches was created to encourage support for community churches. It was not intended to create multi-millionaires!

Last year, I was shocked to hear how much money a local pastor brings in from a tax-exempt "ministry". The new mega-churches are beginning to resemble large, corporate bureaucracies where the CEO (pastor) is paid exorbitantly and the rest of the staff is expected to live on rice and beans. And the congregations are expected to give more than ten percent of their gross income. Many of these leaders consider their organizations far more important than the people who comprise them. It is because the organization allows the pastor to live like the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

It is time for this to stop. Benny Hinn is a fraud. Kenneth Copeland preaches the Amway-gospel, where those at the top get all the money. Creflo Dollar promises the poor they will become rich by sowing financial seeds in his ministry. And Paula White? "God can heal YOUR marriage, just not mine."

My hope is that the Grassley Investigation leads to reform. These laws were passed before television and radio created superstar pastors. We need laws that allow open investigation into a tax-exempt organization's finances. Then the guilt, shame, and manipulation these groups use to collect money can be turned in their direction. Glasnost, or openness, helped bring down the Soviet Union. We could use a bit of it in the church.